Pregnant for a madman

March 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am writing you with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. I have been dating a man for three years and I love him with all my heart. We're the same age (26).

He is a 'rude boy' type of guy, and a heavy smoker and drinker. We would have arguments now and then. He hit me a couple of times, but we always make things work out in the end.

I am more mature than he is. I am focusing on life. I have a good job. Even though he was living with me and unemployed, he still helped me with the bills sometimes.




Last year, he got himself in some trouble and was in jail for two months; I had his back all the way.

When he got out he told me he wanted children, but I told him I was not ready and his words were, "Yuh a go mek mi dead and mi no get none."

Later, I found out that he was in deeper trouble that had placed our lives in danger. I tried talking to him, asking him to change his lifestyle.

Time passed and he was still asking me for children, but to tell you the truth, I knew him well, what he would do or say. He is a crazy guy and I just know he would abandon me and his responsibility, so I said no.

Things went from him asking to him telling me he wanted children, so we would occasionally argue or he would abuse me over it, especially when he was drunk or smoking his weed.

If he found contraceptives in the house, we would argue about it and he would hit me. He refuses to use a condom during sex and, often, he would hold me down and ejaculate inside of me.

Pastor, the problem is that we had a big argument over his Facebook account where he took down all my pictures, texting different types of women, even a transgender, and saying he's single so I told him to leave.

He went back to Kingston. A week later, I found out I was pregnant. I called him but he wouldn't take my calls, so I texted him telling him I was pregnant, but he didn't call or text me back.




It was like I was losing my mind, because I couldn't go to his place for it is a hotspot, so I called until he answered.

He told me he doesn't care for me or my unborn child because the child is not his. How can a man be so crazy? He begged me for children, now this!

I am so hurt, confused, and worried about this child. How am I going to support it physically and mentally on my own? I never planed to be a single mother.

I feel like a fool because I knew this would happen. Should I carry this child for a madman?


Dear S.G.

It is too late to think of this man as a madman. And even if it can be proven that this man is crazy, you love him and you stayed with him for a very long time.

He beat you and you stayed with him. He verbally abused you and you stayed with him. He went to jail and you tried your best to get him out. This is your man.

You said you did not want to get pregnant, but you carelessly allowed him to get you pregnant.

Have your baby, and if he does not want to help you to support the child and you can't manage, put the child up for adoption.


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