Girlfriend wishing death on my unborn child

March 16, 2017
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Dear Pastor,

Accept greetings for yourself and your staff. I am 25 years old and I have been involved with two women. One of them is currently pregnant for me and the other is living with me - we are sharing everything equally. The girl who is pregnant was living in the country, but she came up occasionally to visit me.

When she came the first time in December 2016, she wanted to spend at least two weeks. I explained the situation to her and she said that she can sleep in one room and not get involved with me and my other girlfriend. My other girlfriend did not agree that she could stay, and she threatened that she would leave and go to stay with a guy. I know this guy liked her, so I told her that cannot happen.

I took my pregnant girlfriend to stay with a female friend. She is a big woman and is now retired. My friend told her that she could stay as long as she wants if I would provide food money and pay half of what she pays to the days' worker. My pregnant girlfriend is still there. She returned to St James to collect some clothes and went back to my friend's house.

 

NOT HAVING SEX

 

My girlfriend says I am giving her 'bun', but Pastor, I am not even having sex with the girl (my pregnant girlfriend). My pregnant girlfriend is not comfortable living with her mother in Montego Bay. When she is there, every day they curse her and tell her that she is carrying belly for a man who doesn't care about her.

I am in a bad situation with these two women. I borrowed money from my girlfriend to purchase my car. I don't have the money to pay her back. She told me that if we are breaking up, she is going to take the car away. The car is in my name, but I wrote an agreement with her that if we were breaking up, she will get the car.

I don't know what to do because my pregnant girlfriend is carrying my first child. She has given up her job because she was getting sick every day and her supervisor wasn't sympathetic to her case.

I shouldn't have found myself in this situation. I have got to love the girl who is pregnant, but it didn't start out that way. It was a one-night stand that got me into this trouble. I tried to explain everything to my girlfriend at home, but she is still calling me a liar. I am not making enough to pay off the loan and I have to put away enough money to make preparations for the baby. Every day my girlfriend tells me that she wish the child would be born dead.

Please tell me what to do.

M.F.

 

Dear M.F.,

Some people brag about having a one-night stand and they wish that their wives or husbands at home would forgive them for doing so, but one-night stands can be very devastating. You are now experiencing how burdensome a one-night stand can be, but what is done is done. The important thing is how you handle what may become a crisis, such as pregnancy.

I do not wish to sound radical, but I believe that whatever decision you make now should be decisive. It would seem to me that if you are going to be able to support the young lady who is presently pregnant, you should give up the car you are presently driving and end the relationship with your girlfriend. You borrowed money from your girlfriend to purchase this car. You do not have enough money to pay her back and she is insisting that you pay her back if you want to leave her. So, turn over the car to her. Let her have it and you move on.

You have a moral obligation to take care of this woman who got pregnant by you. It doesn't make any difference whether it was a one-night stand. She is not even in good health.

Give thanks to the lady who has allowed your pregnant girlfriend to stay with her and give as much support as possible. Folks may ask you where you would live. To me, that is not such a great issue. You are a man and you may have to bounce a little here and there for a while. I am not at all suggesting that you go to live with your friend who is presently keeping your pregnant girlfriend.

If you have brothers or sisters, they may be willing to take you in until you have sorted out yourself. But regardless of what you do, take care of this woman who is pregnant, because she is carrying your child.

Pastor

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