He is too black for my parents

March 28, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I have two boyfriends. I'm having sex with both of them. I'm in my second year in university. One of the guys is a student here at the university and the other works at the bank. He gives me $15,000 every month because he is living with a woman and they have a child together. He said that he would have left her if they did not have a child together. The child is only one year old.

He was living at his parents' home but moved out because the girl, who is 18 years old, couldn't stay with her parents anymore. She has just started to work again but her pay is very small, so everything is on him. He does not know that I have another guy. I know that you are going to say that I am bad, so before you say it, I can tell you that I am not bad.

My boyfriend who is in university with me doesn't have much to give me, but whatever I have from the other guy, I share it with him. My parents send me money and sometimes food. Sometimes my boyfriend and I sleep together. I love this guy, but he comes from a very poor family and he is very black. I can never take him home because my parents don't love men who are very black.

My boyfriend at the bank provides me with the condoms because he does not want his girlfriend, the woman who he is sleeping with, to see him with condoms because they do not use it. Once we were about to have sex at a hotel and he asked me for the condom and I did not have any. We had sex because he had already paid for the room.

 

SEX AS USUAL

 

I begged him not to have sex that evening. He cursed and said we had to. He gave me my regular money, plus an additional amount of money to buy the morning-after pill. And that's what I had to do early the following morning.

I'm writing to you now, pastor, because I never thought that at my age I'd have two men in my life. The one at university sometimes behaves as if he owns me and when it comes to sex, he is very rough. I would love to break up with him, but he assists me with my studies. I do not feel that I can do without him.

The banker asked me once if I am having sex with anybody and I told him no. He said I did not feel very tight. I did not say anything. He calls me his wife. Do you think he would marry me? I can do without his money, but it helps me to buy the little extra things and to share with my boyfriend at school.

N.D.

Dear N.D.,

You told me not to call you bad, so let me grant you your request by not calling you bad. But do you want me to call you a good girl? You seem to come from a good background. Your parents would be shocked to know that you are engaging in sex as your extra-curricular activity. If you have a boyfriend at the university, how do you find time to go out with the one who works in the bank?

What do you tell him when you have to go with the banker? If he has not yet suspected that you are fooling around, it is only a matter of time before he finds out.

You have tied up yourself with these two men and although you said that you would want to end the relationship with your boyfriend who is in university, you are not serious about it because you are lazy and you do not like to do your own work. You like to lie and you want this man to assist you and he will continue doing so, because you are paying him with your body.

Whenever he wants to have sex, you give it to him. Any day you decide to stop and break up the relationship, he is likely to stop assisting you with your schoolwork. You are paying him with heavy dividend. He has you under his full control. He does not think highly of you.

You are not being wise. The banker told you that he has a babymother. He is using you, too. Perhaps you are planning to take the banker to meet your parents. He is not as black as the student. The student has not offered you anything because he has nothing but his penis. The guy at the bank helps you financially, but you are in no position to think of any of them as being better than the other, because you are getting benefits from the both of them.

If you have any pride at all, you would end the relationship with both of them and set your mind free. Do so as soon as possible and become a good girl, because that is what you wish to be. Consider what you have done as mistakes.

Pastor

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