My babyfather doesn't care about me

April 20, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and from Clarendon. I am in a relationship for over three years. I really love my partner. He has two children, one with me and one with another woman. The love we share doesn't feel real.

He never sits and tells me anything. We don't talk much because he is always tired. I wash and do everything for him. I am always there for him no matter what.

I don't stress him out or ask him for anything. I don't get any form of attention from him. I feel neglected and disrespected most of the time around him. I don't know what is wrong with us.

This man that I am with doesn't behave as if he is the same one I fell in love with. He behaves like a different person.

He comes in at nights, has his shower, eats and sleeps, then goes out in the early morning, and that's it. When we are sleeping together, if I touch him, he would turn his back on me.

I feel so left out and betrayed at times. I really love him but I don't know if he loves me the same way that I love him or if he even loves me at all.

Pastor, please tell me. What should I do?

M.

Dear M.,

This young man is taking you for granted. He probably loves you but he does not understand that you need to feel his love.

A woman needs to be told by her man that he loves her, but she also needs to feel it. It is so very important for a man to express himself to a woman, especially if they are living together and have a child or children.

I believe that it is very difficult for you because you are at home all day taking care of the child and when he comes home he does not show any appreciation to you at all.

He is wrong, very wrong.

I suggest that you tell him that you are tired of staying home and that you need a job. And earnestly, seek one. Put the baby in a day-care centre and go to work.

Work is good therapy. You are at home and you are bored. He might object to your going out but you should stand firm.

He needs to spend time with the child because the child belongs to both of you. So change your whole approach to family life. Go to see a family counsellor and let him or her help to guide you.

Pastor

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