'I am crazy for my ex-girlfriend

May 01, 2017

Dear Pastor

I need your advice on something. I am 21 years old. I was in a relationship for two years and some months with a young lady who I cheated on with another girl. During my relationship, I meet another young lady at the place I was working. We took some time to get to know each other’s background until we started dating. During that time I was very disrespectful to my girlfriend.

I ignored my girlfriend calls and her messages. It happened that she found out that I was seeing a next girl and we broke up. So I started to give the new girl all the attention she needed. We went on dates, met each other's parents, and they accepted that both us were going together.

Suddenly, her best friend saw how happy we were and started to push herself unto me. She tried to get my attention. She started to visit me in the mornings and in the evenings before my girlfriend came to visit me at work. It happened that we kissed and almost went all the way several times. We almost got caught in the act.

I denied everything, even when I was seen by others, who I knew would tell my girlfriend.  My girlfriend confronted me about it and pretended as if she forgave me, when in her heart she didn't.  I realised how emotional she was. She would normally brag about our relationship, letting others know that she is in a relationship with me and she doesn't want to cheat. I gave her all my love. I cut off all friends and things she didn't like just to make her happy.

I don't know what happened, but she started to say I was acting as if I was cheating. But I was only talking to a girl at the time as friends. A conflict developed and I was not showing any interest as I did when we first met. Whenever she's was calling my phone she could tell that I was speaking to someone else and not answering her. Whenever we are together, she goes through my phone and sees what I was doing. The conflict began there, until things ended between us last November.

From that time until today, I am unhappy. I can't find any space in my heart to love another girl. My love for my ex-girlfriend keeps on growing stronger and stronger each day. I can hardly eat food because I am stressed out.

Pastor, please, I am asking for your advice.

Dear R.R

You are 22 years old but you are not wise. You tried to play “hot boy” but you couldn’t handle the girls. You were disrespectful to your girlfriend but you are not blaming yourself for anything. It is the girls who were after you and now caused you to be in a boiling pot of soup. If you had any sense at all, you would not have encouraged another girl to push herself on you while you were in a steady relationship. The only reason why you had encouraged that was because you believed that it was wonderful to have girls chasing you. And you felt also that as a man you could do anything you want including treating your girlfriend with contempt.

You have only yourself to blame. Learn to respect women. You lie a lot. But if the breaking up with your last girlfriend has affected you so much, take it from me, you would have learnt a lesson. And that lesson is simply this: don’t play the fool; the women will always have the last laugh.

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