Tired of fornicating with my non-Christian boyfriend

June 02, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years of age and I am a Holy Ghost-filled, tongue-speaking Christian young woman. I am very active in Church, and I love the Lord.

But I am struggling and would love to make things right. I am currently dating a 27-year-old guy, but he is not a Christian.

He is a great guy and even more godly at times than most Christian guys that I know. I've been trying my best to get him into Church, but every time I try and he gets focused, he ends up back at square one.

Lately, he has been frustrating me with some ways that he has. He's selfish at times and extremely stubborn. Whenever, I try to correct him, he gets upset and says he doesn't want to be lectured.

And to be honest with you, he has been honest enough to say he wants to get married to me sometime after I complete my degree.

However, I feel like walking away. I am even finding myself fornicating with him to please him. I have stopped because I don't want to live the double life anymore.

I am really in love with him, but I love the Lord more. It doesn't seem like he wants to give up the worldly life soon.

Pastor, I cannot keep seeing this guy because he's not progressive Christian-wise. He basically doesn't want to change.

Whenever I get upset and curse him out, he tries to use the Christian card to judge me. But when I was fornicating with him, he did not have any problem with me doing that.

He has got calls from the Lord, but he refused to answer the calls because he believes that at the age of 27, he is too young to serve the Lord.

At this point of my life, I am just ready to walk away from him, but he doesn't want me to leave. But, Pastor, I have to put my salvation first.


Dear B.A.,

I believe that you are a sincere girl. I believe that you are a genuine Christian. However, you should be prepared to have problems with your boyfriend because he is not a Christian.

Your Christian language is foreign to him. He got you to go to bed with him a few times and you know that it has bothered your conscience. But he wants you to continue because he does not care about your faith.

You are making the mistake by believing that you can change him. You cannot change this man. Neither can you force him to serve the Lord. Therefore, I suggest that if you want to truly work with the Lord, end the relationship with him.

The Bible says, two cannot walk together unless they be agreed. Both of you are unequally yoked. One is going to the right and the other to the left.

God wants you to work together, and that is not going to be possible with this man as your spouse.


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