My babyfather beats me all the time

June 21, 2017

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, but I enjoy reading your column, and I listen to you on the radio every night. I am from Clarendon and I am 23 years old. I am having a problem with my babyfather.

We became friends last year, and now I am pregnant by him. Since getting me pregnant, he is treating me like I am nothing. He beats me up sometimes; and sometimes when I call him, he hangs up on me. I go through days without eating.

When I am to go to clinic, he says he does not have any money. I had to buy baby clothes, and it is a stranger who bought them for me. Now, the baby is born and my boyfriend loves him, but he is still not supporting him because he doesn't have any money. I am tired of crying, and sometimes I even think of killing myself. I don't have any one to talk to other than you.

Please advise me. I have a lot more to say.


Dear J.,

You didn't know this man very much before you went to bed with him, and you made a mistake by having unprotected sex with him. But he is out of order to be beating you. He looks at you as a simple girl. And evidently, you have told him that you love him so much that regardless of what happens you will stay with him. Even if you told him so, it is time to stand up for your rights.

Tell him enough is enough. Tell him that if he hits you again, you are going to the police. Mean what you say. Tell him that if he is going to abuse you, you will not want to see your child suffer, so you are willing to give up the baby to a relative or to someone who will take care of him until you are in a position to take him back and to take care of him. Tell him, also, that you are willing to end the relationship with him.

You didn't state what type of work this man can do. But regardless of what type of work he is trained to do, if he can't get a job in that field, he should go out and hustle, so to speak. He has a child to support. And hear me now, my dear, as soon as you are able, go and seek a job. You are only 23 years old. You are young. You should also go back to school and get some training so that you will not have to rely on any man for support.


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