I beat my husband for having an outside child

June 29, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I hope you can help me. I have been married twice. My first husband and I are divorced. My present husband has a child with a woman in Trelawny when he went there to work.

I knew about the child, but I did not know the child was his. He got his twin brother to pretend that he was the father of the child.

He used to send money for the child and he would tell me that his twin brother sent him the money for him to give to the mother.

When I asked him why his brother did not send the money directly to the mother, he said he did not want the woman to know where exactly he is in the US.

Pastor, I did not question it any longer, but one day I was going through his phone and saw some text messages from a woman.

I realised it was the child's mother. She was telling my husband that she was longing to see him and to hold him and to spend some time with him.

I did not tell my husband anything. I wrote her number down and I wrote down some of the things she said. One day, I asked him when last he was in touch with his brother. He said last month and he was hoping to hear from him because he had to get the money to his babymother.

I broke out the whole story to him and told him that he is a liar. He never said a word. I started to beat him with the mopstick and he tried to hold me.

I was talking loudly, so he got up and went away. I didn't want the neighbours to hear what was happening, neither did he. From that day our relationship went down the hill.

I couldn't believe my husband was such a liar. At first, when I confronted him, he said the child was not his. And when I told him that we should call the mother of the child, he backed away.

It took me six months before I could have sex with my husband again. And the sex is not as sweet as before, because even while having sex, I am remembering that my husband is a cheater and when he cheated on me, he did not protect himself. How can I get over this problem?

D.L.

 

Dear D.L.,

I am glad that you and your husband are still together, and I suggest that both of you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor.

You have forgiven him, but it is hard for you to trust him as before. I could imagine how you beat him with the mopstick.

You said that making love doesn't feel as before. That is because you are still worried about what he did.

You have forgiven him, but you do not know whether he has become involved with another woman or continuing to have an intimate relation with this woman.

So, please make an appointment to see a counsellor and when you do see one, speak freely.

Pastor

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