Broke boyfriend doesn't trust me

July 08, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and staying with a family. I came to Kingston to work with them, but I did not work with them for long. They are nice people.

I met a guy downtown and we became friends. He told me that I shouldn't go back to where I came from; he would take care of me. He wanted both of us to live together.

I don't want to live with any man. I have a little daughter and I would like to work and do my best to help her. Her father cuts lawns and his money is not steady.

This guy took me to where he lives, and it is in a ghetto area, and when I went there, I had to sleep in the same room with two other men, and they thought that I was a prostitute.

A girl told me that guys take girls to sleep in the same room with other guys. They take girls around and their male friends have sex with them.

 

NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

 

I asked him why he took me there and he said he didn't have any other place for me to go.

I like this guy but he can't help me. I told him so. He said I should give him some more time. I told him that I will give him until the first week of August to prove himself. He said he will get a place for us to stay.

Right now, I am back with the people I was working with, but I can't stay out later than 10 p.m. because the man locks his gate and lets out his dogs.

There are three of them and no one can go into his yard, so my boyfriend can't come there at all.

One night, we went to a function and by the time he took me home in the taxi, it was after 10 and I couldn't go in.

So the taxi took both of us to Half-Way Tree and we walked and sat in the park until the following day.

He is now renting a home from one of his cousins and it is a comfortable place. I got a job at a gas station.

My boyfriend doesn't want me to work at nights but I have to. I don't know if I should leave him or stay with him. He acts as if he is ignorant at times.

He is too jealous, and at the station I meet many men and I have to be nice to everybody.

Since I am in Kingston, he is the only man I have had sex with, but if anyone should hear the way he talks, they would feel that I am lying down with every man.

I want the money to help to take care of my child, but my mind is not comfortable and I feel I may just leave and go back to the country.

Do you have any suggestions, Pastor?

L.D.

Dear L.D.,

I am glad you got a job, and I strongly suggest that you try to remain in your job and not allow this man to cause you to give up your job because of his foolish jealousy.

In fact, if he continues to harass you about having other men, end the relationship with him.

Only men who are insecure behave that way, and you know you have not done anything to cause him to believe that you cannot be trusted.

It is unfortunate that because of circumstances you have gone to live with him. It would have been better if you were living alone and paying your own rent, and could go in and out without being harassed by anyone.

I wish to encourage you to go back to school. You are only 19. I know it might be difficult for you to get the time to go to school, considering the type of work you are doing.

I suggest that you talk to management let them know that it is your desire to go back to school, and they may schedule your hours so that you can.

Make sure this guy does not get you pregnant. If that happens to you, you will be setting yourself back for a long time. I wish you well.

Pastor

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