Can't sleep unless I masturbate
I am 19 years old and I am in college. When I was 15, I had sex for the first time. I am afraid to say who the man was. I cannot say I was innocent, because I knew about sex and what I should do and not do, but I did it nevertheless. We had sex many times, he was twice my age.
He had his girlfriend and he told me about her, but I had sex with him anyway because every month when he got his pay, I could look forward to $8,000 or $10,000 from him. I could buy whatever I wanted. All he required of me was not to call his name and to go home immediately after school.
I loved that man so much. After he got married, I did not get involved with any other man. He went away, but he still called me and we used to do phone sex. That is how I got involved in practising masturbation.
One day his wife caught him while we were doing phone sex, so we stopped doing it. Now, unless I masturbate, I can't sleep. I masturbate all the time. Every time I think about him and I am in bed alone, I masturbate.
People say that it can make you blind. I want to know if that is true. I want to know if I continue to masturbate, if I will suffer from blindness?
Sometimes I wish that this man would just come and have sex with me, but he is not in Jamaica. We kept our secret very well. I have never told my friends that we were having sex, but when girls asked me if I am a virgin, I would lie and say yes. What other problems apart from blindness can masturbation cause?
First of all, let me say that this man took a big chance to have sex with you. At the age of fifteen, you were not in a position to consent. He should have known better and if you had reported him, he could have been arrested and he would have surely lost his job.
Evidently, you grew to love this man. And although both of you are apart, the relationship has continued in the form of phone sex.
I am going to beg you to leave this man alone. He has really messed you up. He knew he had his woman, yet he got involved with you but married her and went to live abroad. But even after going abroad, both of you engaged in phone sex regularly until his wife caught him.
I hope that you would try very hard to desist from the habit of masturbation. But I will have to admit that it is not easy to break this habit. Masturbation does not cause blindness, nervousness or any other physical ailment. Whatever you might have heard, it can only be described as myth.