I've never got over being raped

July 19, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 years old and I got raped when I was eight years old. And it still makes me feel less of myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am not special because of what I went through, and it makes me have hatred for men, but I must overcome that.

I started to date men a few years after I was raped and they kept hurting me. I am now in a relationship with a guy who lives in Nigeria and he treats me well.

He treats me like I am special in the whole wide world. I think that whatever I am going through is because of my parents.

They are to be blamed because they left me in the cold and let me feel like I am a female dog. I wish I could hear from you as soon as possible.

C.B.

Dear C.B.,

Was this rape reported? And I have to ask you (as I have asked other rape victims), did you go through therapy?

When a girl is raped and it is reported, the police often try to get help for her, by taking her to a doctor and then try to arrange psychological help for her.

Unfortunately, if the rape is not reported, the victim suffers much more.

I only know what you have written. So I am speaking generally here when I say that even today, parents do not want their daughters to report rapes.

They say that they can handle the matter privately, and some even take money from the accused relatives to keep the matter quiet. And by doing so the victim never receives professional help.

You say you are dating a Nigerian man. Is this man living in Jamaica? Or are you communicating with him by phone?

Whether it is by phone or in person, you ought to be very careful and get to know this person very well. In fact, you should know all you can about his background.

You are young and you don't want to be further used by men. If this man is living in Jamaica, both of you should go and see a counsellor.

You should insist that this must be done because it is not all men who are from 'foreign' tell the truth about themselves. Some of them are liars.

I am not here saying that your boyfriend is a liar. I am only putting you on your guard and telling you that not because a man comes from abroad and speaks with an accent does it mean he is a man to be proud of. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor

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