She's upset that I want to do a DNA test

July 25, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 24-year-old man who met a woman in February 2017. I met in an accident in March 2017. She moved in with me to help me around the house because my hand was still in a cast. This female now says she is pregnant with my child, and she is due to have the baby between late October and early November. It is now July as I write this letter; she got pregnant in April 2017. By my calculations she is seven months pregnant, and if she has the child in October or thereabout, I am not disputing that this is not my child.

To cut a long story short, I confronted her about this, and I told her that I want us to do a DNA test when the child is born. She got upset and told me that she does not need me to take care of the child if I don't want to do so, and that she is willing to take me to court.

This is my first child and I want to be there for my child. I have been supporting this woman financially and emotionally. However, we are no longer together, and we both have moved on with our lives. I want to be a part of the child's life, but if she decides not to do a DNA test and takes the matter to the court, how will this play out in court if it comes down to that? Don't I have a right to ask for a DNA test if I have a small doubt that it may not be my child?

Please advise me on what I should do in this matter. Thank you.


Dear D.G.,

This woman is clearly upset because you suggested that you would love to have a DNA test done after she has given birth. She believes that by suggesting a DNA test, you are expressing doubt as to whether you are indeed the biological father of the child.

It appears to me that you do not know when this woman got pregnant. You believe that she might be lying. If she takes you to court, you should simply tell the judge the truth and everything would be settled there. This is not a matter to be worried about.


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