Caught my man in bed with another woman

August 31, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I had a boyfriend for three years, and he was unfaithful to me. I went to his house unexpectedly. I meant to surprise him because I knew he was at home. I had a key to his apartment. It was a Thursday evening when I went there. I had an appointment to see my doctor on the Friday morning, so I decided to sleep with him the Thursday night and go to the doctor on the Friday. I got to his house at 9 p.m. His apartment was in darkness, but the television was on.

When I got there, I opened the door, threw my bag down, and opened the bedroom door, and I saw him with a woman on the bed. Both of them were naked. I almost died. I know the woman and she knows me, but I did not know that they were having a relationship.

I asked her what she was doing in his bed. She didn't answer me. She stood up and pulled on a dress, and was walking away. I called her back and told her to take up her panty. My boyfriend told me not to make any noise and that I should have called him before coming.

I just found out that I am pregnant, and this is my first child. I have never been unfaithful to this man, but he has been lying to me all along. Because he told me he doesn't have any other woman in his life, I am so nervous. I haven't told any of my friends that I caught my boyfriend with another woman, and I would not tell my mother.

Please advise me what I should do. Thanks for reading my letter.


Dear V.N.,

Your boyfriend is very, very careless. Both of you have been in a relationship for three years. He gave you his house keys, and by doing so, he was telling you that you can come and go as you wish. No other woman in your position would have that privilege. I am sure that you felt very special. You were not expecting another woman to be there when you went to visit him on that Thursday night. As you said, you meant to give him a surprise. Perhaps the girl did not even know that you had a key.

I am glad that you all did not have a fight. You have to decide now what to do with this man. I can't tell you to leave him because you are carrying his child. What I would suggest is that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor, and speak freely.

Please, don't let anything stress you out, so to speak. I am sure you wouldn't want to lose your baby. Now that the girl, who was in bed with him, knows that he has a serious relationship with you, she may back off, but don't be surprised if she doesn't.

This man needs to apologise to you. But, please, do not lower your standard by getting into an argument with the girl who was in bed with him.


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