Think my girlfriend wants my man

September 05, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am one of your fans. I have a complaint to make to you because I don't know who else to talk to.

I am not feeling well because of what happened between my boyfriend and myself. I met my boyfriend a year ago and our relationship was going on very well until one of my friends came to spend the weekend with me.

My boyfriend was off work on that weekend. I told him that my girlfriend is with me so all of us should go out together. She didn't know him, but from the moment she met him, she went crazy over him.

When we went to eat, she was right under his arm and anybody who didn't know us would believe that she was his girlfriend. He did not stay with me that night because she was there.

When he saw me on the Sunday, he told me that he doesn't trust my girlfriend because when he was leaving us the Saturday, she shook his hand and scratched his palm; he was so surprised at that. And he looked at her and she smiled.

I asked him what that meant and he said that she was indicating to him that she likes him and wouldn't mind having sex with him.

I asked other friends and they said the same thing. I asked her if she likes my boyfriend and she says yes, but not in a sexual way.

But both of them have become very close and on her birthday, he sent her flowers. He didn't tell me he was going to send her flowers, but I saw the receipt in his bill folder. And both of us had an argument over it.

This girl is two years older than I. He said he has never had sex with her and he doesn't intend to. I am scared that I will lose him because her parents are middle class people and she is very good looking.

He said I am too jealous. I told him not to call her back, or accept any call from her. He told me that she is my friend, so it is up to me if I want to tell her not to call me.

D.T.

Dear D.T.,

Your boyfriend says that you are jealous, but what he didn't say is that he is causing you to feel jealous. He had nothing to do with the action of your friend when all three of you went out for dinner.

But when she scratched his palm, he knew what she meant and he could have told her that he wasn't interested at all. He said nothing and on her birthday, he sent her flowers.

Now, flowers could carry different meanings. Employers send their workers flowers or fruit baskets on their birthdays, and on special anniversaries.

However, your boyfriend should have known that by sending this girl flowers, she might have considered that to mean that he is interested in her.

Probably he wasn't, but those flowers would encourage her to call him and perhaps to even invite him out.

Your boyfriend shouldn't cause you to have an argument with him over that. As a man, he can bring your anxiety to an end by telling this girl that they can only be social friends and nothing more; they should not exchange gifts at all.

I would not suggest that you ask this girl anymore questions about your boyfriend. Don't allow what she did to break up your friendship with her.

However, you should not become careless with the relationship that you are having with your boyfriend.

Pastor

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