My man is very mean with money

September 06, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I'm not sure what I'm doing. I have been living with a man for 16 months, but his attitude stinks.

He constantly behaves harshly towards me and most times when he comes home, he doesn't even let me know that he's in the house. I really don't understand why his attitude has changed.

He doesn't take me out, yet he says that I'm his personal woman. He claims he has to work every day for long hours.

Pastor, most times I wonder if this man has any good intentions towards me. He's in his 40s and I'm in my early 20s.

He promised to help me go back to school, but he has fallen short on his promise. I do not get any respect from him or his children. All I get is name calling and curse words. Sometimes I think I love this man too much.

I am a hard-working young woman who doesn't believe in being a housewife. All he wants me to do is to cook, wash and clean his house. When I first met him, I didn't have a bank account.

He promised me some money to activate an account, but he fell short on his end again. I had some money that I got to do something else, but I used it to open the bank account.

Over a period of time, I withdrew a little of the money to do something and until now, he has not given me any money to put away for myself.

This man has a good job and he hardly gives me money to buy food for the house. When he does, it's not enough to last long, and he complains that I waste his money.

However, I'm not going to be ungrateful. He has given me somewhere to live, but he's making my life miserable. Please, help me.


Dear J.M.,

This man cannot afford to support you. Therefore, you should try your best to find a job. He promised to send you back to school. He wants to do so. He has good intention, but he cannot afford it.

You are saying that he does not keep his word. The truth is that he does not want to tell you that he doesn't have the money, because he doesn't want you to leave him.

He is also afraid that you may seek the money elsewhere and become unfaithful to him. In plain Jamaican, he is afraid that you would give him 'bun' to get money.

You say that you are grateful to him for giving you shelter, but his children don't respect you. They see you as living off their father, so to speak. They don't like you.

They would like an older woman to be their stepmother. Therefore, although this man gives you shelter, and is always blaming you for wasting his money, you need to hurry up and get out of his life.

I repeat, get a job and support yourself. Right now, it pleases him for you to stay at his house and cook, clean and wash, but living that type of life will not get you far.

You need an education, so work and send yourself back to school. That is all I wish to say. I hope when you write to me again, you will tell me the good news that you are working and attending school.


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