Should I go back to my cheating lover?

September 08, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 22-year-old woman and when I was pregnant one and a half years ago, my babyfather used to cheat on me. I found out that he had three women with me at the same time.

It hurt me a lot. I texted one of the women he was dating, so she got my number. Anything they were doing, she texted me and informed me.

He never used to care because he said he was getting money from her and that money came to me. I did not know that the money he got from her was what he was giving to me, until he stopped talking to her.

She used to know everything about me and I used to wonder how she knew so much about me.

I texted another of his girlfriends and I got to understand that she was pregnant. She said she didn't even know me and she and my babyfather were together, so she did an abortion.

I used to tell him that the relationship was over during every little argument we had. I stopped trusting him. He became ill last year. He blamed me, because I kept leaving him and telling him he wouldn't see his child again.

I didn't know that would get to him. I was by his side, though, when he needed me. He told me to be with him until he was better. I agreed.

After he got better, he told me to leave because I generally go when he doesn't have any money. My child is now living with him. All I ever wanted was a family, I never had.

Pastor, what should I do? I am missing my family. I am confused. Please help me.

S.B.

 

Dear S.B.,

It seems to me that if you are going back to this man, you will have to agree to share him with other women, because it is unlikely that he would stop running with other women.

You are 22 years old. You didn't give his age, but it is quite evident that he is not ready to settle down.

Why did you give up your child to this man? You know that he is irresponsible. If you believe in family life as you say, you should have kept your child.

I hope that you will get yourself a job and learn to pay your bills. Your little daughter should grow up with you.

You don't have to be living with a man to be a good mother.

Pastor

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