She treats me like a little boy

September 11, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 40 years old. I have five children with two different women. But the woman I am staying with doesn't have any children for me. All my children are with their mothers. This woman I am with has her own home. She doesn't have children. I used to come and stay with her, and one day she said to me, 'You might as well move in'. So I move my clothes piece by piece, not even in a suitcase. But since I am here, she has changed. She wants to tell me what to do, where to go, and when I can come in.

I told her I am not in that, and she said these are her rules because she goes to bed early. When I told her I was leaving and going back to my house, she hid every piece of my clothes. She does not want me to leave her. I am sure I am not fooling myself. I love this woman. I am a contractor and when I come home at nights, she gives me a bath and she takes care of my feet and lotion them. No other woman has ever done that to me. But I can't come home early every night.

She pays all her bills. She doesn't ask me for money, but I give her money. When her friends come by, she describes me as a visitor and not as her man friend, and she is always whispering to them.

My bedroom at my house is still intact. Two of the children live together, and I help them to pay all the bills. I have never been married, but I don't think I can manage to marry this woman. My brother said that I should marry her. Her problem is that she has never lived with a man. She is 61 years old.


Dear A.I.,

You are only 40 years old, and this woman is 21 years your senior. Perhaps she sees you as a boy who is living in her house. I don't mean to imply that she doesn't love you, but perhaps she believes that because she is much older than you, you should listen to her. She invited you to live with her in her house. She wanted more than just company.

You have five children. You need to settle down. But I am not sure that this is the woman you should be with. I am not saying she doesn't love you or you don't love her, but she is not treating you with the greatest of respect. On the other hand, she is very kind and romantic. My suggestion is that both of you go to see a family counsellor.

Don't stay with this woman because of what she has. Stay with her because you genuinely love her and you can't do without her. Try to find out from her why she would want you to remain with her. I wish you well.


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