In love with my sister-in-law

September 18, 2017

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you and I hope that I will hear from you. I have been married for 18 years, but my wife has caused me to be unfaithful to her. We have two children and she decided that she did not want them to grow up in Jamaica, so she went to America with them.

I tried to keep up and to remain faithful to her for two years. I washed, ironed and cooked, but I could not manage the cleaning.

My wife's sister used to come and help me. She is not married and I saw that she was interested in me. I tried to resist her by going home after she was gone. She realised what I was doing and asked me why I was ignoring her. I told her I did so because I did not want to get in trouble.

We talked about it and we moved on. She told me that I am a man and she is a woman.

One Friday evening, when I thought she was gone, I went home and she was there. I asked her why she didn't tell me she was staying over and she said that it was because she knew I might not agree for her to stay.

 

WE HAD SEX

 

To cut a long story short, we had sex and that has continued for the past four years. She never left any of her clothes at the house.

My wife and the children came home and spent time with me. I was glad to see my children, but not very anxious to see my wife. My sister-in-law and I are still having sex, but not as often as before because she has found a man and she has to spend time with him.

If my wife was not her sister, I would divorce my wife and marry her. Nowadays, I don't even ask my wife when she is coming home permanently. She wants me to live in America, but I am not interested. You may not agree with me, but apart from having sex with her sister, I have not had sex with any other woman. I don't know whether my wife has gotten involved with any other man. I don't question her.

Sometimes I asked her sister how she is getting along with her boyfriend, and she tells me that they are doing well and that I don't need to worry. Every day she calls me. I can say I am in love with her.

S.T.

Dear S.T.,

It might be easy for you to blame your wife for your infidelity, but please understand that you are responsible for everything that you do. And even if this woman tested you and offered herself to you, you were the one who yielded. Temptation is not a sin. It is when a person yields to temptation that he has committed sin.

Of course, I recognise that your wife took you for granted. She loves America. She wanted to live there. She gave the excuse that she wanted her children to grow up in America. She did not think much about the marriage which, to me, is very sad.

But as I see it, both of you have destroyed your marriage. Your sister-in-law has taken you over. She loves you and you love her. Now that she has a man, why can't you tell her to stay with her man? It seems to me that now that you are accustomed to going to bed with her, it is hard for you to quit.

Your wife and you need time to fall in love again. I am assuming that the children are now grown and she doesn't have to be with them in America. Encourage her to spend more time in Jamaica and persuade your sister-in-law to stay with her man.

Pastor

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