Boyfriend and I had sex with my niece on the bed


September 22, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 23 years old and I have one year to finish my college work. My boyfriend is 35 and he is financing me through college.

I don't pressure him for anything because he has two children and he has to support them. I spent the entire summer with him. My little niece wanted to come and spend time with us.

I told my boyfriend that she wanted to come, but I planned to tell her no because we didn't have the convenience. I told my niece that we could have her just for the weekend, but the weekend turned out to be a week and a half.

We only have one bed. My boyfriend said he would sleep on the couch and allow my niece and myself to sleep on the bed. That went on for a few nights.

One night my boyfriend came into the bed. My niece was asleep. He started to fondle me. He wanted to have sex. I tried to resist him because my niece was on the bed.

I knew that my niece was sleeping because she was breathing heavily. It was so hard for me just to lie there and let him have his way, but I did until he discharged.

He got up and went back on the couch. My niece did not know what went on. She was still asleep. He did the same thing the following night. And this time I did not allow him, because I wasn't sure my niece was sleeping.

He pulled me off the bed and insisted that we should go into the bathroom and do it. I went with him and while we were in their having sex, my niece knocked on the door.

She wanted to use the bathroom and I told her to give us some time. My boyfriend would not let me go. We were there for about 15 minutes after my niece knocked.

She wetted herself. When I spoke to my boyfriend about it, he told me to send her home. He was upset with me. I apologised to my niece.

I asked if she knew why I couldn't let her in the bathroom and she said she suspected what was going on.

I know I am wrong for letting my niece visit, because my boyfriend likes sex. But, I told him that he could have controlled himself.

My niece promised that she wouldn't say anything to anybody, but she did not keep her promise. She told her mother and her mother asked me about it. I feel so ashamed, pastor.

My boyfriend is a loving man, but when it comes to sex, he can be very aggressive.


Dear M.K.,

Don't hold anything against your niece. She is only 14. She wanted to be with you for part of the summer, and your boyfriend and you agreed that she could come.

It wasn't convenient, but at least you didn't want to disappoint your niece.

What happened was unfortunate. This man embarrassed you. He should have controlled himself. It was good that you talked to your niece about what happened, but I am not surprised that she mentioned her experience to her mother.

But, I repeat, do not hold that against her. Your boyfriend and your could have done better.


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