Living with a woman I don't love

September 25, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 58 years young. I have been married twice. My first wife left me after going to the US on vacation.

I suspected that she was not coming back because when I dropped her at the airport, she did not just kiss me, she broke down and wept and told me if I didn't see her again, I must take care of myself.

She called me when she arrived and gave me a number. One day when I called her, her cousin answered.

Her cousin told me I should try my best and take my mind off her because she has a man and she was going to marry him, and she is not coming back.

I told her thanks for telling me. I did not call back, but my wife called me on my birthday to wish me happy birthday and I asked her how was her husband.

She took a long time to answer, then she said he was all right. She divorced me and got married.

Pastor, I cut her off completely. I don't hold anything against her. My present girlfriend is 25. She doesn't work and she is not interested in going back to school. She has a girl child.

 

PREGNANT AT SIXTEEN

 

She got pregnant for a man when she was 16. She said she never liked him. When she got pregnant, he did not give her any support.

I took her to work for me in my house and she is still here as my helper and my wife. She has a good shape and nice ways, keeps the house clean and gives me sex.

I told her she can leave anytime, because I can't marry her. She said she is not going anywhere.

We sleep together most nights, but she has her own room for herself and her daughter. She is my woman in a sense, but in my mind, she is my helper.

When she came here at first, she called me Mr. I don't allow her to call me by my first name. I see to it that she has her own bank account and I pay her every week as a helper.

One thing I do not do is to bring another woman in this house. I have to show some respect because I know we go to bed together.

Pastor, no woman will be able to trick me the way my wife did. I plan to get married when I am 65, after I have paid off for my house.

L.E.

Dear L.E.,

Perhaps your wife got fed up of you but never told you. She couldn't be happy at all if while she was living with you, she was involved with another man.

She didn't treat you right at all. I hope that she would not be disappointed in her new husband.

Concerning this woman who is working with you as your helper, both of you know the truth. She is very comfortable.

You don't see her as a woman you could marry and you have expressed that to her. You should never fail to remind her that she is not going to be living at your house forever and that it would be wise to go to school and learn to stand on her own, because you will not be able to take care of her all the time.

I do believe that this woman is not taking your seriously, that's why she says she is not going anywhere. I don't believe you want her to leave you, either.

It is not costing you much money to have her as wife and helper. She might not be intelligent, but you are a wise man, so treat her well and don't take advantage of her.

Pastor

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