Torn between two men

September 26, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old woman who is currently in a relationship with two men. One of them is my son's father and the other is my co-worker.

My son's father and I have a fairly decent relationship despite the challenges we face, like any other couple.

On the other hand, I am in love with my co-worker. He gives me great sex and he makes me happy. He is my best friend. The thing is, he is in relationships with two other women.

What is the right thing to do?


Dear B.D.,

Although your letter is short, I have taken a long time to answer it. Perhaps you have forgotten that you wrote it.

I have thought about the matter and I sincerely believe that you wish to know what to do.

I have observed that you have not said that you are in love with your son's father, and you give the impression that it is because of your son why both of you have remained together.

On the other hand, you state that you are 'in love' with your co-worker and the sex is so good that it has caused you to be very happy with him. You consider him your best friend.

Although you share a son with the other man, he is not your best friend.

What is bothering you is that your co-worker is having affairs with two other women apart from you. Am I to understand that it is the sex that is so good between the both of you that is keeping both of you together?

Can you see yourself having a future with your co-worker? How long will the good sex last? Would he stay with you because of sex?

Have you considered taking steps to strengthen the relationship that you are having with your child's father? Frankly, I think that is what you should do.

I know it is very difficult to have a good relationship if you are not in love, but I believe that your relationship with your child's father can improve if you take steps to strengthen the relationship with him, and if you cease having sex with your co-worker.




Have you ever discussed marriage with either of these men? Perhaps you should ask them if they are willing to marry you and see how they will react.

In spite of the fact that your co-worker gives you great sex, you are only one of his women and I doubt that he will marry you.

I really can't encourage you to continue having a sexual relationship with your co-worker. Therefore, I suggest that you bring it to an end. I will be glad to hear from you again.


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