Feeling guilty for cheating on my married babyfather

October 12, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 44 years old, and I have two children. I am in a good job, but I am not married. The father of my children is married, and I have told him that I would wait until he gets a divorce. His wife and himself do not have children, but she is from a wealthy family. She is an only child, so all her father's wealth will go to her. That's what my children's father told me, and I believe him.

I do not go to their house, but he takes the children to see them. I asked him how long he expects me to wait on him, and he said as long as it is necessary. I don't know how long I can wait. I cheated on him for the first time in February, and it bothered me. I promised in my heart that I wouldn't do it again. I wanted to see him, but he said he could not come because he was with his wife, and I said all right, I know what to do.

I called a male friend and he came to see me. I know the children's father would not come to the house because he was with his wife. I made sure that the children were gone to bed. My friend took a taxi to my house, and while we were making love, the father called me and I told him he shouldn't wake me up. I pretended I was sleeping, but I was having sex at the time. He believed I was alone, but I wasn't. I did not want anything from the guy who was having sex with me. I don't need any money from any man except the children's father. I really want to get married, but I don't want to lose this man.

For the first time in my life, I had oral sex with a man, and that was the guy I cheated with. My children's father has never asked me to do oral sex. I feel guilty, not for having oral sex, but because I was forced to cheat. Whenever I tell the children's father that we should end our relationship, he always says that he cannot do without me and that I am his sweetheart. He does not know that I cheated on him. I can't tell him. But the guy I invited in my life and went to bed with has his girlfriend, and he is much younger than I. He is 30 years old.

Pastor, I beg you to tell me what to do.



Dear G.B.,

You haven't said in your letter when your children's father plans to file for a divorce and what reason would he give to his wife for divorcing her. Is it because she does not have children? This man told you that her parents are wealthy and everything that they have will go to her. Therefore, the reason why he is staying with her is because of what he can get.

If he takes the children to see his parents they know about you. What is he telling them? Is he telling them that you are satisfied with being his outside woman, his sweetheart, as he calls you? What does he say to his wife? Does she not know that he has two children? I am sure she knows.

I doubt that this man has any intention of divorcing his wife, and you would be very silly to be waiting on him forever, so to speak. I am not encouraging you to be intimate with another man right now. What I believe that you should do is to make a clean break from your children's father. Tell him that he should stay with his wife and allow you to develop an intimate relationship with another man. Remind him that you are getting older. He should, therefore, continue to support his children and leave you alone.

The young man with whom you went to bed has his girlfriend, so please don't get between him and his girlfriend. After you have made a clean break with your children's father, find a man who is not attached to any woman.

I wish you the very best.


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