My sister's man got me pregnant

October 19, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 and I came to Kingston to spend some time with my sister and to help her with her two-year-old child. She fired the girl who used to take care of the baby.

She said that this girl was trying to take away her man, who is the baby's father. When she raised the matter with him, he admitted that she liked him, but he told her nothing could go on between them.

From the time I came here, my sister's babyfather had been looking at me.

He knows that I have a boyfriend in the country and he would always ask me about him and wanted to know how I am managing without having sex. I used to laugh at it sometimes.

One day he came home early and my sister had to work late. All he was talking about was how I looked attractive.

He came out from the room only in his briefs. When I asked him if he was not going to put on his pants, he said the time is too hot.

I still wasn't thinking of anything until he held me and started to whisper in my ears and play with me. I said no a few times, but I don't know what came over me.

 

NO CONDOM USED

 

I agreed to have sex with him right there on the floor. I told him not to ejaculate inside me because he didn't have a condom, but he did.

I went in the bathroom and urinated because I heard that when a man discharges inside of a woman and she urinates, she can't get pregnant.

A month after, I missed my period and I told him that something was wrong. He said if it is anything like pregnancy, I have to throw it away.

I missed my period for the second month and then I got sick.

I told my sister I didn't like the way I felt so I was going home. She took me to the doctor and he told me I was pregnant.

I told my sister's boyfriend and he asked me if I didn't ask the doctor if he does abortion and how much it would cost. I packed up and left early the Saturday morning before my sister woke up.

My boyfriend came to see me and I told him the truth. He cursed me and told me that he can never trust me again. He agreed to help me and to register the child in his name.

The other day he took me to the clinic; you won't imagine the amount of 'bad' words he told me while we were in the car.

I am wondering whether it makes sense to put this child in his name, but if I don't, people would find out who the real father is, and my parents would be ashamed of me.

I have let down my boyfriend because he took my virginity and he was planning to send me back to school.

Do you think he will ever marry me? Should I tell my sister that it is her boyfriend who got me pregnant?

I.T.

Dear I.T.,

I think that you are a very naÔve girl, and I also consider your sister's boyfriend to be a very wicked and conniving man.

Your sister trusted you and she, too, was naÔve. When the babysitter told her that her man was making passes at her, she didn't believe her.

This man carefully worked on you. He knew that to have unprotected sex with you may cause pregnancy and that is exactly what happened, but he didn't care.

Now, your boyfriend is trying to cover up for you. He does not want to put you to open shame, so he would allow you to register the child in his man.

I am going to suggest that you do no such thing. I am suggesting that you tell your parents the truth. Your parents and other relatives are going to be very disappointed in you.

Your sister may hate you for life, and she may believe that it is you who threw yourself at her man.

Your boyfriend might leave you, but it is better for him to go his way than to be constantly verbally abusing you. You may register the child in your surname until the dusts have settled.

In fact, if you are courageous enough, make sure the man's name is on the birth certificate.

I wish you well. I hope that I will hear from you again.

Pastor

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