I engaged in a threesome

October 25, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old and I am having a problem. I listen to your talk show at nights and I can say that you give good advice, so that is why I am writing to you for advice. My girlfriend is 45 years old, and both of us were married to different people but have separated. I lost pretty much everything. My wife came out much better than I did, but I have life and a good job, so I am trying to rebuild my life.

I met my girlfriend a year ago. She has two children and they are living with her. She gets alimony. We are getting along all right, but I have a problem. She tries to rule me, and whenever I tell her that she shouldn't try to rule me, she said that she is not ruling me. She goes into my phone and her excuse is that she wants to protect me.

While I was married, I was having an affair with her. I had no intention to have a serious relationship with her, so I was with my wife and I had her on the side. One day, she told me that she has an extra surprise for me. I asked her what that would be and she told me that I should come to see her prepared. She took the children to spend the weekend with her mother.

When I got to her apartment, I saw another car in the driveway but didn't think anything about it. When I went in, she greeted me and introduced me to a young woman half my age and said, "This is the surprise I have for you." The girl only had strings on, and my girlfriend didn't have much on, either. I was shocked, and I told both of them that I had to go.

Would you believe that those women put up a fight to keep me in the house? My girlfriend had made plans with her for us to have a threesome. She and I had talked about having a threesome before. I took it as a joke. She wanted it to happen, and unknowing to me, she planned with a friend for us to have a threesome. After a while, I surrendered to them. The girl told me that I was fortunate to have two women at the same time. Many men would have loved to have two women in bed.

The girl and I have become good friends, and now we have something going. The girl who engaged in the threesome with us is always calling me. That is why my girlfriend is always searching my phone to see what messages she leaves in my phone. I don't have anything to do with her, although she has suggested that we go out sometimes.

My former wife and I talk about our children. I regret divorcing her. Every time I mention it to my girlfriend, she tells me that I should forget her. It is hard to forget her because I love my children very much, and I blame myself for getting involved with my girlfriend. She suspects that I will never marry her.

I don't know what to do. Give me your advice.

F.F.

Dear F.F.,

Have you ever considered going back to your wife? You know that you basically caused the breaking up with her, and your present woman was the cause of the problem. Now that you are divorced, you realise that you have made a mistake and you are not happy. Therefore, I suggest that you call your ex-wife and tell her that you are sorry for what has happened between the both of you and you need both of you to be reconciled.

She may do two things. She may say, 'If you are serious, let us meet and talk'; or she may say, 'Go to hell, stay with your woman. I will have nothing to do with you and the only time I am willing to talk to you is when we have to discuss matters that relate to our children'. If she curses you, play it cool. Don't give up. Tell her you understand how she feels, and let her know that you are only asking for a second chance. Let her know that you are willing to give up your present relationship.

If this woman is willing to meet with you, let it be at a place where you will not be disturbed. Perhaps both of you could go in a nice, quiet restaurant. It does not have to be a meeting for more than an hour and a half. Then you should meet with your lawyer and have her meet with hers, because you will have to understand that this is a legal matter. Then there is another step to be taken, and that is to meet with a marriage counsellor.

You have already informed your present girlfriend that you are ending the relationship with her. She may threaten you, but don't allow that to bother you. You just have to stay away from her and from all other women, including the one that was engaged in the threesome.

Pastor

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