Dirty roommate slept with my boyfriend

November 06, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I am having a problem. I am sharing house with a friend. Both of us are in college. She is half-white and I am dark-skinned. We used to get along well, but we are not getting along so well now.

I went out on an assignment with other students. My roommate knew that I may not get back early. We did well on the assignment, so we came together and said that we should try and get back home. Our supervisor agreed.

I did not call my roommate to tell her that I will be home. We generally cook and share, but this time I decided that I would buy some jerked chicken and pork and take them home. When I got to the apartment, I saw my boyfriend's car. I was very surprised, because he told me that he would be at work that evening. I wasn't thinking of anything bad. I went in and I flicked the lights on, knocked and pushed my roommate's door. Would you believe I saw my boyfriend and my roommate lying down on their backs in the nude?

My boyfriend did not even realise that I had come. When I shouted out, my roommate jumped up and my boyfriend woke up and asked her "What happened"? I stood there speechless. He could not explain to me why he was in her room, on her bed. I started to cry and he pulled on his brief, then held me and said, "Let me explain what happened".




I called one of my friends and asked him if I could spend the night at his house with his girlfriend; both of them told me yes. He wanted me to explain what happened because I was crying. I could not explain. My roommate has been begging me to forgive her. She has made up a story, telling me that he came by and they were having drinks, and one thing lead to the other and they had sex.

She can't explain to me why she entertained him when I was not there. And my boyfriend cannot tell me why he went there, as he was aware that I was not going to be there.

Pastor, I hate this girl so much. I hate her because she is not hard up for sex. She has a boyfriend and many times he sleeps with her. Her boyfriend helps her financially, so she is begging me not to tell him what she did.

I am asking you for your advice.


Dear D.T.,

Things like these don't happen overnight. Your boyfriend evidently had his eyes on your roommate for a long time and apparently she was admiring him, too. He could have even slipped money to her too without your knowledge. Both of them knew you were not going to be home. They didn't even know you were coming back the same night. Your plans were to be out for the whole night, so they used the opportunity to make love.

You caught them lying down on their backs. They were probably exhausted after having a marathon. You didn't see them doing anything, but you have common sense. They did something - yes, they had sex. They didn't deny that they had sex. Why else would they be in the mood? Now you know you can't trust your man, neither can you trust your roommate.

Your roommate is begging you not to tell her boyfriend that she was sexually involved with your boyfriend. If you were to tell him, it is likely that she would deny it.

I am not going to tell you what you should do, but I would say to you, do not trust any of them again. You cannot watch your man, but when a woman will give her body to her girlfriend's man, she is likely to do it again. As soon as you are able, find another place to live.


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