I beat up my boyfriend for giving me bun

November 15, 2017

Dear Pastor,

The reason why I am writing to you is because I don’t know where else to turn. I am employed and that is what is helping me, because my child’s father is doing things that will send me straight to the mad house.

Imagine, we are living together and I am paying the rent and his responsibility is not much because he is not making much money. He is trying to get a better job. All my friends know that he is my boyfriend. We don’t hide.

I heard something about him and I did not believe. He was doing his exams so I didn’t ask him anything about what I heard. Then one day while I was at work, I received a call from a woman I know.

She told me that my boyfriend got a girl pregnant. I was shocked. I asked who was the girl and she said it was her. I was speechless. I asked her how many months and she told me two and a half.

This woman is seven years older than my boyfriend, so I asked her why she couldn’t find another man and she said the only person who did not know that my boyfriend and her were intimate friends was me.

She said it was a slip-up why she got pregnant. She told me that I don’t have to worry because she wanted a child. She didn’t want it this way.

She always wanted a husband and her children to be living together, but I should not leave him because she had told him that she was on the pill.

Pastor, I am so angry with my boyfriend because I am keeping myself for him only and he is having sex with another woman and doing it for so long.

If you see my boyfriend, he can’t even mash ants. We had a fight when he came home. I punched him as he came in and he is lucky that our son was there and when we started to fight, my son started to cry. I beat up my boyfriend. I don’t know where I got the strength from.

At first he told me that the woman was lying. I told him that we should go and see her. Then he changed and said that we do not have to go, it was a big mistake he made.

She was on the pill, so he didn’t expect her to get pregnant. From the time I found out that this woman is pregnant, I have not made love to him, and I think I should pack up and go away.

It is only my son that would hold me back here. His folks are telling me not to leave.

Three years is a long time to be deceived. We always talk about getting married. How can I marry a cheater? Anytime I say something about the woman, he goes silent. What can I do?

Dear H.D.,
Have you ever heard that still water runs deep? This man behaves as if he can’t mash ants, so to speak. But for three years he has had another lover.

This woman told you that you are the only one who did not know that they were having an affair. She didn’t have to tell you, but she thought that it was time for you not to be kept in the dark. She said that you should not worry because she could take care of the child and in any case, she should be blamed because she told him that she was on the pill.

Maybe she wilfully wanted to get pregnant. Perhaps she sees herself getting old and wanted a child at any cost. Perhaps you should seriously consider forgiving him.

What he has done is wrong, but you should not abuse him in any way. Perhaps both of you should consider going to see a family counsellor and discuss the matter.

And you should give yourself time to decide whether you are going to stay with this man or leave.

However, bear in mind that if you are going to leave him, his new babymother is going to totally take him over. I am not sure that you can deal with that either. So, be careful what you do.

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