Dad beats me because he hates my boyfriend

November 20, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and I have a boyfriend. He is very good to me. From I was 17, he and I have been friends. I got two terrible beatings from my father because of him.

My father said that he grew up with his father and he knew the guy's father to be a thief, so he didn't want me to have anything to do with that family.

So I told my boyfriend that we should stay away from each other for some time. But, we couldn't stay away from each other for long, so one day we met together at a fast food place, and as the devil would have it, one of our neighbours came into the restaurant and saw us and told my mother.

My mother told my fathe, and that night when my father came in, he grabbed me and gave me another beating. Pastor, I cursed my father and I took up a stone and told him that I would knock him down.

My brother told my father that he can't do that to me and he stood up for me, and he told my brother to leave his yard. My brother told him that he would leave, but he should try and not get sick because he would not even look at him.

My boyfriend explained to me about his father. He was in prison, but he was not guilty of the charge.

But what his father did has nothing to do with my boyfriend, because my boyfriend is not a murderer or a thief. My father is ignorant.

When my father beat me the second time, I left the house and was staying with my cousin for three months. Then my mother told me to come home because my father was fretting over me.

He knows that the guy and I are still friends. People talked to him and told him that I am a good girl and he should leave me to make my own decision.

In my heart, pastor, I have not forgiven my father for beating me. My boyfriend cannot come to our house because of my father.

My boyfriend helps me to go to school. I am trying to get more subjects. My father doesn't ask me how I get money. He suspects that it is my boyfriend who is giving me money.

T.S.

Dear T.S.,

Your father took the wrong approach in dealing with your love life. I could understand how concerned he was.

What your father failed to realise was, even if your boyfriend's father has a criminal record, that record would not legally affect your boyfriend or you.

And even if he did not want you to associate with this young man, it was wrong for him to physically abuse you by beating you.

I have often said that parents should never hit or beat their children, especially when they are in their teens.

To do so is to cause the children to hate them, and that is exactly what is happening between your father and yourself right now.

Free up your mind by forgiving your father. What he did was out of ignorance. He doesn't know better. I would also like to say that your father loves you.

Otherwise he would have taken the position that you could stay wherever you are after you left his house, but he wanted you to come home.

Your father believes that this young man would abuse you and after you left home, he believed that life would be difficult for you, so it is better for you to come home.

I say to you, therefore, forgive your father. What he has done has not caused your boyfriend and you to break up. Perhaps it has brought the both of you even closer together.

Make sure that you have respect for your daddy and try to encourage your brother to come home also.

Pastor.

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