My husband is living with his girlfriend

December 14, 2017

Dear Pastor,
I come from a family who is loyal and true to each other no matter what. No distance or years can surpass their loyalty.

So long as one knows where she/he stands, they support and listen to each other. Virgin marriages are highly valued and preferable and sex and marriages are considered sacred.

I barely had known any stepchildren or stepparents or children born out of fornication or adultery. There was no confusion.

The children know 100 per cent who their father or mother is. They felt they all belong and there wasn't any discord due to resentments of what someone did that caused family dispersal.

I was not familiar with men and women going together or living together so freely, playing husbands and wives so comfortably.

In fact, it shocked me hearing a woman say "my boyfriend" when she's pregnant. I don't mean to be judgmental, but I am just frank with my feelings and experience.

It’s a terrible and disgusting feeling being married to a man who lives with a girlfriend. My husband and the girl are both cozy in their own place with their own excuses.

The girlfriend is a drug addict prostitute and is in and out of prison. 

They have two children that bear his name (but they are not necessarily his biologically). All these years I struggle silently within.

When I listen to my son talking about his friends' families, I understand that he too is struggling to cope.

It breaks my heart when I look upon his face sticking his head through the window or sitting by the porch to see whether his dad is coming.

I could not think of any alternatives to get away from such an environment but to run away when my baby was only four years old.

My husband's phone was forever ringing particularly from some women who were very similar to his present girlfriends.

I am finding it disgustingly sick to be still married to a husband living with a girlfriend for nine years.

What should we honestly do? Perhaps in my own heart I do have the answer. Every day is like standing in the middle of a crossroad.

Five years ago when we first learnt of it, he said sorry and he wanted to rebuild his first family.

He is irresponsible and has a very high smoking habit. I felt the ongoing excuses right from the very beginning but I let it go by.

Are cohabitating parents considered as husbands and wives?  If so, then where do we stand?

Dear S.D.,
Why did you have to write such a long letter just to say that your husband has other women and it is affecting your family life?

It has been going on for a long time and you have stayed in the relationship. May I suggest that both of you seek the help of Almighty God, plus the help of a counsellor/ psychologist.

You must see some good in this man why you continue to live with him. Therefore, I say to you hang on in there, so to speak, and don’t give up.

Other Tell Me Pastor Stories