My stepmother hates me

December 16, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am a frequent reader of your column and I want to congratulate you on the great job that you are doing. I am having a problem and I would like your advice.

I live with my father and stepmother.  My stepmother is the problem. Ever since I have been living in Jamaica, she has been telling my father lies about me and he believes her.

He jumps to conclusions without even hearing what I have to say. I will be 18 in three months and he doesn't even want me to talk to anyone. I can't even get a phone call from a female friend. 

He recently went to Jamaica for three weeks (he is still there), and I decided to go out with a few of my friends. My stepmother decided to start some trouble and called my father and told him a whole lot of lies about me.

She told him that I have been going out every night until midnight and that I have been carrying men in the house when she is at work. If I so badly wanted to be with a man, why would I have to wait for him to go to Jamaica?

The only place I go during the night is at my brother's house, and she knows it because I told her, and I am home by 10. So now, my father is in Jamaica saying that he is going to kick me in my backside when he gets back. The man didn't even talk to me first.

I found out that she has another man and this has been going on for a while now. Whenever my father leaves the house she calls the man.

He has been calling the house very often now that my father is not here. I picked up once but he said 'wrong number' and hung up.

Two seconds later she called him back and asked him if he was an idiot and why he hung up. She also asked if I am 'watching her'. 

If she doesn’t want me watching her, then why is she watching me and making up stories?

I know that when my father gets back from Jamaica, he is going to try to hit me, and I swear if he does, I am going to do something to that woman. That is exactly what she is.

She is always messing with someone's man. I need this woman to leave me alone and stop telling these horrible lies on me. I need you to tell me what you would do in a situation like this.

Pastor, I need your advice before he returns and cause me to do something I might regret later on. And since it is the time of telling stories I will be sure to tell him about her 'other man'.
Thanks, in advance for your advice.

Dear K.D.
Your father is overprotective. He needs to realise that you are now an adult and you should be allowed to go out, from time to time. You are old enough to take care of yourself.

Please, don’t be alarmed. Not all stepmothers like stepchildren, especially if the stepchildren are girls. On the other hand, some stepmothers are very close to their stepdaughters and treat them well.

But, some are jealous of the children especially if they are close to their fathers. They try to do everything to put a wedge between the children and their fathers.

It is unfortunate that your father believes everything that your stepmother says. I hope that very soon he would come to realise that she is not truthful.

If you know for sure that your stepmother is having an affair and that she sees this man often when your father is away, I highly suggest that you tell your father what you know.

Your father may not believe, but at least your conscience would be cleared.

This woman should not be allowed to make a fool of your father. She is going to hit the roof with lies when your father asks her about the other man in her life.  But at least you know that it is the right thing for you to do.

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