I feel like I was used

December 20, 2017

Dear Pastor,
I am 16 years old, and I have had sex twice with the same guy. The first time was at his house, but while we were getting the hang of it, a family member came so I went home.

The next time was at my house the day before he went to Jamaica. I did not enjoy doing it because we started arguing, and then he lost his erection and I was no longer in the mood. We had a big fight, and he said he will not talk to me again and he has not.

So, I want you to tell me whether I wasted my time or was I being used. Help me. I need a reply.

S.J., United Kingdom

Dear S.J.,

You and this young man were friends and both of you agreed to have sex. You voluntarily went to his house and you believe that a family member spoiled up the show.

For some reason the second attempt failed at your house. You didn’t say what you were arguing about and why you question whether you were used.

Is it that you believe that the guy only wanted you for sex? If that is what you have on your mind, you may be correct.

You are only 16, but you have to learn early that some guys only have girls as friends for the sole purpose of having sex with them.

If a fellow is determined to have sex with a girl and she is not interested, she ought to tell him so and mean what she says. She should also keep out of his way.

But even if she finds herself in a tight spot, she should not allow him to have his way with her, and if he rapes her, she should report it to the police. And that goes for any guy whether he is her steady boyfriend or social friend.

You made mistakes. Learn from these mistakes. Do not think that you have to have sex to keep a young man. \

If this young man is angry because you did not have sex with him, he is not a good man. Do not beg him to come back to you.

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