Think my man is cheating

December 21, 2017

Dear Pastor,
I am an 18-year-old university student. My studies are going fine. What troubles me is that I’ve been dating a 22-year old man for about five months.

Everything was wonderful. From the day we met we had a great chemistry. I felt like I had known him forever and he was my perfect match.

When I say we got along great, we truly did. There was never a day where we didn’t talk. He would call me before and after work. He never pressured me for sex even when I slept over.

He always said we could wait until the honeymoon. This man even introduced me to both his parents.

Recently, I was looking through my email and got a message from a young woman saying that she was looking through her boyfriend’s email and found some pictures of me and him that she didn’t appreciate it and was quite disturbed.

She then went on to say that he's her property and I should be aware of her. When I confronted him about this, he didn’t deny knowing her, but said that she is an ex who saw him recently and began calling him. Once he told me this I just put her in her place.

She later went on to say that when you meet a man, ask if he has a girlfriend and insist on a truthful answer. My reply to this was that a man who gives a woman what appears to be his undivided attention and brings her to meet his parents wouldn’t be considered a 'suspect'.

She told me that she doesn’t believe what I’m saying because she's at his house every day and speaks to his mom on a regular basis.

I was at my wits end so I finally, in one last message, told her that we weren’t arguing about the same guy and that I do know "her boyfriend" and we're just friends.

I called him that same night and started arguing about the whole thing, and while he tried to assure me that this girl is lying, I hung up the phone (which I knew he finds very disrespectful). He hasn’t called me back since.

Pastor, I’m just so confused because there are so many holes in what he's telling me compared to what she's saying. She says she’s just trying to get to the bottom of things because they've been together for over a year.

Have I done the right thing by letting go of what I thought could’ve been a great thing?
S. M

Dear S. M.,
I believe that the young woman is speaking the truth. This man was trying a thing, so to speak. He was trying to have you, but at the same time he had his girlfriend.

He is a liar and you have admitted that his story has 'many holes'. Since you hung up on him, he has not even called you back. Neither has he been to see you. If he should come back to see you he would have to lie to you again. You will get hurt if you pursue him.


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