Trapped in my marriage

December 21, 2017

Dear Pastor,
I have a very difficult problem. It’s with my husband. I am in the US illegally and he knew. He agreed to help me, but that wasn’t why we got married.

He was a green card holder and not a citizen at the time we got married. After we got married he changed. He became very abusive and he would drink and smoke a lot.

He had all the characteristics of a man I did not want in my life, but I grew to love him. Things got worse. He wasn't working for two years. I worked and paid all our bills and took care of both of us.

He got some insurance money from his job and he didn't even give me a dollar out of it. But he planned with his aunt and opened a secret bank account and put the money in the account.

It was too much for me to bear. He called the cops on me. He came to my job and told my boss that I am illegal because I left him.

He wants to destroy me completely. There are days when I am so down it's only the grace of God why I am still here. Family and friends would say 'why didn’t you stay until you get your papers then you could leave him'?

But pastor, I didn't marry him for papers and I honestly don't think that it's God's will for me to be abused every day just for a piece of paper.

Yes, it would make life easier, but at what cost? Please pray for my strength. I do not believe in divorce and if God changes my husband, I would be willing to give our marriage another chance.

If he wants a divorce he can go and do it, but not me. I just feel trapped now and I am waiting to see what direction God is going to lead me in. Please give me your advice.


Dear Trapped,
I suggest that you speak to an immigration lawyer. If application for your permanent status was made and that you have a problem with your husband, your lawyer can make a real case for you, especially if he has been abusive.

When you go to court, speak the truth. I believe you will get your green card.  God will help you.



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