My husband is too secretive

January 18, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I have been married for five years. My husband is a businessman. He is 65 years old, and I am 40. My husband's son and I are the same age. Every business transaction he has to do, he does it with his son. I don't know anything about his business. Before we got married, he used to tell me that after we got married, he would tell me about the business, but he hasn't done so. Whenever I ask him, he tells me that it is a family business and that if anything happens to him, his son will carry on the business.

I am afraid to talk to his son about anything because he and his father are very close. My husband treats me very well. I have everything for my comfort. He gives me anything I want. We don't have any children together. It is just that he is very secretive about his business, and I am concerned about it.

Whenever he goes to work and comes home early, he goes straight into his study, locks the door, works for some time, and then he comes to bed. I can go anywhere I want, and my friends can call me at anytime. He doesn't question me about anything. I love him so much, but why doesn't he let me into the business part of his life? His son doesn't talk much. He is just like his father. Sometimes I wonder what would happen to me if anything should happen to him.

- T.L.

Dear T.L.,

First of all, let me say that you are very fortunate to have a good man as your husband. He loves and provides for you. That is so much more than many wives can say about their husbands. On the other hand, he is keeping you out of his business. I want you to know that is not unusual.

Many husbands do not want their wives to be involved in their business affairs. He feels comfortable having his son involved in his business. You should leave that alone. Your husband will tell you what he wants you to know.

Before you got married, you should have asked your husband whether he is in debt and whether the title of the house is in his name only. That is what you ought to know for sure. You should encourage him to make a will. Everybody should make a will. That is something you should insist he does, if he hasn't yet done so.

Please, please, don't rock the boat or push your husband. If you do, he may become suspicious of you and start to wonder why you want to know more than he has told you. Be wise. Lovingly persuade him to do the things he ought to do, but don't be overbearing.


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