I married a mean, no-good man

January 29, 2018

Dear Pastor,
I would love your comments but I have made up my mind already. I am married for more than 15 years, and my husband is six years my senior. I am 55.

When we met, he had other relationships and told me that he needed to settle down. So, we got married.

But, soon after I found out he was seeing other women. He would always deny it when I confronted him with the facts.

He is a selfish man, who always wants to receive gifts but very seldom gives. Whether it is on birthdays, our anniversary or Christmas holidays, he never has money to buy a gift. 

He does not assist at home. He will never make breakfast, dinner or say thank you. When I hear things my friends get from their husbands, I feel like I am nobody. And I do more for my husband, more than most of them are doing for theirs.

After a man cheats and is forgiven and he does it again, isn’t it time for him to be kicked to the kerb? Well, he is coming home one day to see an empty house especially now that he has gone 'soft' and cannot manage sex, not even once a month.
Active 55

Dear Active 55,
Perhaps it is only when your husband comes to you, he is soft and cannot manage sex. If he is running around, as you say, with other women and going to bed with them, he would have to function well.

But, I suppose, by the time he gets home, he is all washed up. 

Why did you marry such a mean man? Surely, you would have known much about him before you got married.

I often say mean men don’t change easily. Mean men are liars and untrustworthy. Some even keep private accounts or put away their money in the names of relatives.

They depend on their woman to feed and support them in every way. So, don’t believe that this man is giving the other woman much money. Perhaps they are paying him for his services.

You know how you feel and what you would like to do, but before you make any final decision, may I suggest that you try to convince this man that both of you should go and see a family counsellor. I wish you well.


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