My sister's fiance is looking me

January 29, 2018

Dear Pastor,
Greetings to you and your staff. I am having a problem and I hope that you can help me.  I am living with my sister and my mother. My sister has a boyfriend and they are engaged.

He comes to the house regularly, and we all treat him like a family. We are Christians and he is a Christian too, but he doesn’t attend the same church as we.

One day, he told me that he would like to talk to me but I would have to promise him that I wouldn’t tell my sister. I told him okay and we decided to meet after work.

When he picked me up, he told me that he is in love with me and that he had a dream, and in the dream he was told that he should not marry my sister, he should marry me.

I told him he was crazy, and that he and my sister are now engaged and I can’t come between the both of them because I am her sister.

Moreover, it is wrong for him to be talking to me like that. He said it can’t be wrong if it is love.

That night I could not sleep. Every day he is at the house talking to my sister. Whenever, he sees me, he winks at me. I have a boyfriend who is living in Canada.

I don’t want any other man in my life. What I want to ask you now, pastor, do you think I should tell my sister that this man wants to have a relationship with me?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not interested in him. But, why should he be coming to the house and behaving as if he loves my sister when he told me that he doesn’t love her?

I had told him that I would not say anything. What should I do?

Dear T.L.,
Here is what I would suggest that you do. The next time this man comes to the house, have a family conference with your mother, your sister, the man and yourself.

And tell your sister in the presence of everybody that this man has something to tell her.

Put him on the spot. If he is reluctant to speak, calmly ask him to speak up and ask him to tell everybody what he told you.

Your sister’s curiosity will be aroused, and she may want to know from him what it is all about.

If he will not answer, let your sister and your mother know what he said to you, which he asked you not to repeat.

But it is something that will affect you so you can’t remain silent. Make sure you assure your sister that you are not interested in him; therefore, you felt that you had to tell her the truth.


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