Wife stole my mom's money

January 31, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column since I was in high school. It is something that I look forward to. I am now married and in a good job. My wife and I met while we were in high school. We went to college together, and we got married. I have two brothers who are living abroad. My father died, and my mother went to live in the USA. She comes and goes as she likes. She is now 70 years old. I do love my mother. She has never been a problem to us. My wife and I are living in the family house. My mother's room is always kept tidy for her.

Pastor, I am writing to you because I don't see myself continuing with this woman I call my wife. My mother has an account in Jamaica, and naturally, she added my name to her account. My wife knows where I keep the debit card and also the pin number. And without my knowledge or permission, she went into the account and withdrew a substantial amount of money several times. If I had known that she did that, I would have tried and put the money back.

When we discovered that the money was missing and I talked to her, she said that it is no big thing and she would put back the money. After my mother was here for a week, she asked me for the money and I told her that my wife would put it back. She said she was not leaving Jamaica until the money is back into her account. I tried to calm her down and tell her she need not worry, it would be put back into the account. One day she asked my wife about the money, and my wife cursed her disgracefully and told her that she does not like mothers-in-law. She also said my mother is an old woman, so what is she doing with so much money?

My mother got so vexed that her pressure went up very high. The worst thing she could have done was to tell her expletives. When I got home, my mother told me that I should get my wife out of her house.

This woman and I do not have any children. My mother told my siblings what my wife did and they are very upset. They, too, told me that I have to find somewhere to put her because she cannot be in my mother's house and disrespect her. I asked my mother if she would accept an apology and she said no.

I am thinking of divorcing my wife. I have too much at stake to have such a woman in my family. Please, give me your opinion. What do you suggest that I do with her?

When I saw my mother sitting in a chair crying because of what my wife told her, it affected me.


Dear A.L.,

It is only a very foolish woman who would curse her mother-in-law and to tell her that she is an old woman so she shouldn't be concerned about her money. Your wife must have lost her mind to make such a comment to your mother. She didn't have the right to go into your mother's account unknowing to her and to you. That is tantamount to stealing.

Sir, what did your wife do with the money? Has she been able to give you any good reason for withdrawing the money? Although you have not said so, I am thinking that if your siblings are abroad and your mother lives abroad, you are living in the house for free and you wouldn't have to be paying rent, etc. What sort of expense would she have to withdraw that sort of money from your mother's account, unknowing to you? Is she living above her means? Is she paying back student loan or car loan? What?

Whatever the case might be, she has disrespected your mother and she should leave her place. She has declared that she doesn't love mothers-in-law. An apology is not good enough. You will have to take your wife at another place. Please, don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that she should not apologise for what she said, but your mother would never be happy knowing that such an ungrateful and rude woman is living at her house.


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