Mom wants me out of her house

February 07, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a major crisis in my life. Before I get into the details, let me first highlight a few facts. I am 27 years old. I have been baptised for over eight years now.

Given the fact that I was raised in a solitary environment, I am a quiet, segregated person by nature. Given my upbringing, I have experienced more emotional and psychological hurt and depression that I can count. I internalise all of my problems.

Having said that, let's get to the meat of the matter. The major issue that I am now facing is that my mother is putting me out of where was supposed to be my home for all my life up until now.

I state it like that because she constantly makes me feel unwelcomed and uncomfortable there. I am working, so I have been able to help out with the few bills that we have to pay.

I have a boyfriend who I hope to marry some day. Our relationship is not perfect, but we stand by each other through it all. There are some doubts that I have in regard to our relationship and our future together, but that's for another time.

I am staying at his house because my mother went away and only her three children were at home, me, being the oldest, included.

The other two, who are 19 years old and 12 years old, behave as if I'm not supposed to talk to them. They give me attitude and they don't listen to me.

This really hurts me as I was trying to provide for them and to ensure that they are okay as much as I could.

With the other problems I have going on in my life, every time I came home from work, I would be so upset that I couldn't handle the mental strain anymore.

I went to my boyfriend's house for a while. My siblings' father works at the house, so I didn't check up on them for a few days. I told my mother what was happening with them and she said that she will deal with it when she gets back.

One day I went to the house, only to see that my mother was back. She lied and told me she would come back at a later date. I don't know why.

I realised that all my clothes and things have been moved and packed away. That is quite obvious that she is about to put me out. I didn't say anything to her, and I will not, because she is very immature and allows her anger to rule her.

The easiest thing is to move out; but it's not so easy because I have nowhere to go but at my boyfriend's house, and that would not be biblically right.

My current salary does not allow me to pay rent, and my family members won't be able to take me in either. So I'm at the mercy of the universe.

I'm highly stressed out. I do not know what decision to make and I must make one now.

What do I do, Pastor?


Dear Anonymous,

To protect your identity I have withheld your initials. I believe that you are a very good girl. But you should be on your own.

I suggest that your boyfriend and you should get married and build your lives together. I therefore urge you to seriously consider what I have said. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

You seem to be a very smart girl. Put your life in God's hand and He will take care of you. Go and see a family counsellor as soon as you are able to do so.


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