My boyfriend is too jealous

February 07, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and I am living with my boyfriend who is 30 years old. He is a very jealous man.

He is so jealous that even when my male relatives come around to visit, he doesn't give us privacy to talk. Sometimes I have to say to him, "Give me time to talk to my relatives about family matters".

He would then say that no family matter can be so important that he cannot hear. One of my relatives doesn't like him at all.

My boyfriend has proposed to me. He wants us to get married, but I don't know what to do. I used to have a different boyfriend, but we broke up. Many times when my present boyfriend and I have sex, he asks me whether I enjoy the sex more with him or with my ex.

So whenever we are finished, I lie to him and say "You are the boss; you are so good at it."

My ex-boyfriend has a very familiar surname and every time my boyfriend hears that surname, he comments on it. I cheated on him once. I don't want to do it again, but I am not in love with him. I want you to tell me what to do.

M.H.

Dear M.H.,

If you are not in love with this man, you will not be faithful to him. Already, you have done just that. You have cheated.

This guy does not have much confidence in you either. Neither does he have any confidence in himself. That is why he constantly questions you whenever both of you make love.

If you believe that he could change, you may suggest that both of you go and see a family counsellor.

But, I do not wish to be a hypocrite. When a man is so insecure that he becomes jealous when his woman is speaking to her relatives, it will be difficult for the relatives to accept him into the family.

You may discuss the suggestion that I have made to your relatives and get their opinion. Please, do not remain in this man's house and cheat. That is not a very smart thing to do.

Pastor

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