Pregnant for a 'tough head' boy

February 08, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I need your help. I grew up with my grandparents. My mother left me and my brother with them. I have been with them since I was seven and brother was nine.

Our neighbour had a son. He and I are the same age. His mother got a visa and didn't know where to leave him, so she asked my grandparents if he could stay with us.

My grandfather said no, but my grandmother persuaded him to take the boy.

We only had two rooms. There were two beds in one room and my grandparents slept on one bed in their room. My grandfather made up another bed and put it in our room. He didn't want the boy to sleep on the floor.

He stayed with us for a long time. We all went to the same schools. His head was 'tough'. He didn't take to books. When he was 15 he got a girlfriend, but he used to tell me that he loved me.

One day we were playing and he tried to kiss me. My brother saw him and told him that he was going to report him to our grandparents.

I had to beg my brother not to report him, because our grandparents would have run him out and he didn't have anywhere to go.

When my breasts developed, my grandmother told me that I should not change my clothes in front of the boys. But he always wanted to look at me.

I don't know how it happened, Pastor, but I got to like him. And one day when he attempted to kiss me again, I allowed him. When I was 15, both of us were at home alone and he asked me for sex. He took my virginity.

He got a job at a store on weekends, and since that time, he did not want to go back to school. Sex became a regular thing.

My brother suspected us, but didn't say anything to our grandparents although he was always warning me to be careful.

I have six passes in CXC. My desire is to be a teacher, but I am pregnant for this boy. My grandmother's church friends told her that I was looking pregnant.

She called me and felt my stomach and asked me if I missed my period. I said I wasn't pregnant.

I told her no because I was afraid. She told me to get ready the following morning because she was going to take me to the doctor.

On our way, my grandmother told me that I should not allow her to waste her money on the doctor if I knew I was pregnant. So I confessed.

She asked me who I had sex with and I told her that I was afraid to tell her. We went home and she told my grandfather.

I told them that I wanted to 'throw away the belly'. My grandfather said that no such murder would take place in his house.

The young man admitted that the child is his. They called the guy's mother and told her, and she said that she would help to support the baby. I am seven and a half months pregnant.

This guy's mother got married in America and is planning to take him up. I can't wait for him to go. I hate him.

G.L.,

Dear G.L.,

I am not going to comment on what your grandparents did. When they took this boy in, they meant well. You didn't have to get sexually involved with him. That is a big mistake you made.

It is never good for children of the opposite sex to sleep in the same room, but it doesn't make sense for me to discuss that now.

I hope that after you have had the baby you will go back to school. Your grandparents have done their very best, and it is so unfortunate that you are going to burden them with a child.

I hope that this young man will keep his word and support the child. His mother has promised to assist. She did not support him financially after she left Jamaica. Will she keep her word and support this child? I hope so.

You made a mistake, but you can bounce back if you are ambitious.

Pastor

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