Pregnant from a one-night stand

February 09, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem so I am turning to you for help. I am 20 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 23. I love him and he loves me.

Before we became intimate friends, I slept with his friend. I did it as a one-night stand. It was not something we were going to continue to do.

I was on a weekend with some of my girlfriends and this guy was with us at the hotel where we were staying for the weekend.

After having drinks with us, all the girls teamed up with their guys and I was left alone. I had too much to drink. He invited me to his room and we had more drinks.

The next thing I knew was that I woke up about 7 a.m. the following day in the nude on his bed. One of my friends told my boyfriend that I slept with one of the men at the hotel.

I denied it, but my boyfriend asked the guy and he told him nothing went on because he would not have an affair with his girlfriend. My boyfriend believed me and believed him.

Here is where I am having a difficulty. I have missed my period for two months and I suspected that I am pregnant. And now I know for sure that I am pregnant.

It is not my boyfriend who got me pregnant, because whenever we have sex he uses the condom. I can't afford to lose my boyfriend.

He does not suspect that I am pregnant. I tried to put out my best, but this thing is bothering me so much. I cannot carry this child.

Please, tell me what to do.

O.G.

Dear O.G.,

By now you have probably told the man who had sex with you that you are pregnant. He lied to your boyfriend when your boyfriend asked him whether both of you had sex.

He was trying to save your relationship. However, what he should have done on that night when he had sex with you, was take you to your room and not touch you.

He used the opportunity to have unprotected sex with you and blamed alcoholic beverage. You should have known better. Both of you were out of control.

Now, this is big embarrassment to your boyfriend. I cannot encourage you to do an abortion. I suggest that you come clean to your boyfriend.

Admit to him that you were drunk and that you went to his friend's room and both of you had sex. Tell him the truth.

But before you admit to him that you lied about what really happened, inform his friend what you are about to do and let him know that he is responsible for your pregnancy, and that there is no way you are going to try to save him, because you are deeply embarrassed over what has happened.

Your boyfriend might curse you and end the relationship with you, but he would know the truth. He may or may not forgive you.

But, you shouldn't try to pressure him to forgive you either, because what you have done is not something easy for a man to forgive his woman of doing. He may even hate his so-called friend for taking advantage of you.

I hope that you are working. Put much time in your work, call a family counsellor and make an appointment for counselling.

Ask your boyfriend to accompany you, but tell him that you don't want him to accompany you because you are seeking reconciliation; you just want to talk to a counsellor who would help you to maintain your sanity. I hope to hear from you again. Take good care of yourself.

Pastor.

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