He's cheating so I'm not going to file for him

February 15, 2018
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Dear Pastor,

I am a 47-year-old lady. I have being married for 10 years, but I have been with my husband for 25 years. We have one child together. He has nine other children, and right now another woman is pregnant by him. This man has been cheating on me for a long time, but I have not cheated on him, not even once. The woman who is presently pregnant for him is not living far from our home, and she is a much younger girl than I am.

This girl does not work. All she does is walk up and down. Why should this big man be in charge of this young girl? He doesn't want me to say anything about the girl. I am a citizen in America, and I can hurt him by stopping the filing. He does not help me to support the only child that we have together, but he has money to give other women. He has forgotten that he is getting old. He is behaving like a young boy. I am not going to allow him to come to America and eat me out. I am not sure what I should do. That is why I am writing to you.

Whenever I call him these days, he hardly wants to talk. He is still sleeping around. His friends and neighbours told me so. Even his own relatives told me that he is only using me to get to America, but I am with him because of my son. He never has money.

I could cheat on him over and over again, but I don't do so because I respect myself and my son. If I allow the filing to go through, when he comes to live in America it would be a different story with me.

I know when he has a woman with him. He can hardly talk. Even girls who are under 18 he fools around with. I am so depressed. One of these underage girls got pregnant by him and did an abortion. That is what I heard.

I can do without this man. I am educated, and I look good. Men are always inviting me out. My boss is single, and I can have an affair with him. It is just for me to say yes. But because of my son, I haven't gone that way. Please give me your advice.

Disgusted Wife.

Dear Disgusted Wife,

I have to tell you the truth. This relationship will blow up soon after this man receives his green card. He is not going to stick with you alone. And, he also has children in Jamaica to support. I would like to know how would he support them. He would still be under obligation to support them. He doesn't send you any money because he believes that you are quite capable of supporting the child that both of you have together.

You can consider him as a sperm donor. He knows that you love him, and you are not willing to give him up without a fight. But, I must ask you, what are you fighting over? Well, let me be very careful because there are those who would say that I am encouraging you to leave your husband. Can you really consider this man to be your husband? You might see him as your husband according to law, but he is not behaving as a husband should. He doesn't even send you a little money from time to time. He is a wicked man, a very irresponsible husband. And as his son grows up, he is not going to respect his father as a good provider.

It is not for me to tell you to stop his filing, so to speak. That is totally up to you, but I could tell you to prepare to continue having problems with him. He is not going to change.

Pastor.

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