My father raped my sister and I for years

February 26, 2018

Dear Pastor,

For years I considered writing to you, and now that I am 37 years old, I feel it is time. Pastor, I was born and raised in St Ann in a family that all appeared well on the outside to others. I was raised as a stepchild, and for years I carried the secret that my father raped my older sister and myself for years.

Pastor, I ran away from Jamaica to the US at age 16 years old to escape the incest. Before leaving Jamaica I tried to commit suicide, but was unsuccessful. God blessed me to leave Jamaica, and although I missed my siblings, I made a life here in America. My stepmother and others in my family have always stated that my sister and I have lied about my father raping us. It has caused such a division in my family, and I have always wished that my family could understand the trauma and feelings of disgust I feel when I think about my past life of incest.

Pastor, my past influenced my current occupation, which is to ensure that children who are abused in any way can get the help they need. There was never any help for me. My abuse started at about age four and continued until I was age 16 years old. My greatest problem after all these years is that my stepmother and her family continue to tell everyone that my sister and I are liars. No child or person wants to admit to incest, but I was a victim of incest, and there is no greater shame than having to admit that my own father used to have sex with me. I am trying to heal totally, but it is difficult when I realise that people in my family are still lying about this.

Pastor, help me please. I am a woman now, but there is a little girl in me that still wants my family to admit that they are lying for 'face'.

Tormented

Dear Tormented,

As you know, incest is such a terrible abuse. And although I would wish to remember you in prayer, if it were possible, I would love to see your father arrested, tried and sentenced for life. You were determined to get away from an incestuous home. You had the courage to report that your father was having sex with your sister and yourself. He denied it and your stepmother did not investigate. She condemned you and your sister. You would want your father to admit what he did, but he may never do so, and so you would carry that burden with you until you die.

But hear me now, although incest is a shameful blot on any family, you don't have anything to be guilty of. The shame is on your father. You did your part, but it is your father who has behaved as a beast and who should be ashamed of himself. So, my prayers are that you and your sister will receive therapy and that the Good Lord will help both of you to cope with what happened to you in the past. And I pray also that your father would come to know the Lord as Saviour and to confess his wickedness before God. And that the good Lord will give him the grace to admit what he has done and to ask you and your sister to forgive him for his evil deeds.

Your stepmother has tried to hide the truth and by doing so, she has not been a good wife and mother, and she, too, needs to pray for forgiveness. May the good Lord be with you.

Pastor

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