Help, my father is in love

March 07, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I am 40 years old and I am distressed. My brothers and I live in the States, but our father, who is 74 years old, lives in Jamaica. When he became 72 years old, we decided to give him a caregiver. He said he did not want any, but we observed that his memory wasn’t so good, so we told him that he should ask around and we would pay the person to stay with him and to take care of his clothes and meals.

We told our father to try and get a Christian woman. He has been a Christian for many years. We were surprised that in two weeks and a half he told us that he found someone from his church. This woman was 68 years old. One of my brothers told him that she might be too old, but he said she is the ideal person and she lives only two miles away from him.

This woman should work five days per week and then she should have every other weekend off, but every time we call dad, she is there. My brothers and I suspected that this woman was sleeping with our father. We suspected that because he kept saying to us how well she was taking care of him.

We give this woman $11,000 per week and she can cook whatever she wants for herself. I asked my father why this woman does not go home during her weekend when she is off and he said he had no objection with her staying at the house. He did not deny that they were sleeping together. We had a conference call with the woman and we told her that she should go home on weekends and she said our father doesn’t like her to leave him.

My father has good investments and one of my brothers and myself are on one account. My father withdrew a large sum of money and when I question why was the money withdrawn, my father said he gave it to this woman to help her buy a house. And because we told the woman that she has to repay the money, my father is very upset with us.

I must say that this woman has two children and they are there sometimes during the day, but not at nights. They either go home or go and stay with their boyfriends. When we told the lady that she must pay back the money she said our father did not give her a loan, he gave her a gift.

My brothers are the executors of our father’s will and we have warned him not to change his will. He said that he will not, but Pastor, when two heads are lying down on a pillow, anything can happen. So we are asking you for your advice.

Dear B.J,
I believe that your father knew what he was doing when he withdrew his money and gave it to this woman.  It seems as if your father is in good health and he refuses to be pushed around by his children.

Your brothers and yourself should meet with your dad and try to have better control over his funds so that this woman would not have free access to his money. You have not said that she has access, but if he is going to bed with this woman, and she is rubbing his head and sweet talking him and giving him what he desires (I am sure you know what I mean), anything can happen.

So it is prudent if everyone could come to Jamaica one weekend to discuss how control should bring to his money. You might even suggest that his money be put away into an account that is no more controlled by him only.  That might be tough to do but your financial advisers can lead in this matter and safe guard your father’s money.

Even if you were to ask this woman to leave, your father will find her. Protect your father, but be careful not to curse the woman in whom he has probably fallen in love.

Is it possible for the children to take your father to live with you?


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