Got pregnant having sex on the housetop

March 21, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and I am three months pregnant, but the man who got me pregnant told me that I should throw it away or go and find the correct father.

He knows that he is the father. I only had three other men in my life, but for the last six months, he is the only man I have been having sex with.

I live with my father, who is a drunkard. He is always miserable when he drinks. I do my best to take care of him.

The first guy I had sex with is a friend of my father. I wasn't ready, but he used to come around here and my father trusted him. He taught me to play dominoes.

He took my virginity. His people filed for him, so he went to live abroad.

This guy who got me pregnant caused me to be bad. Our house has a flat roof. My father didn't like me having guys from the area.

One day, he came by the house to see me and I was on the housetop, so he came up to where I was. I had a chair up there and a blanket. He told me that it was a nice place to have sex.

I didn't take him seriously. One night, I went up there again and he called me on the phone. I told him that I was there and he said he was coming. I told him my father was around but he had gone to bed.

The boy came and the dogs started to bark. My father didn't hear because he was under his liquor.

This guy was up there with me for about two hours. Before he left, we had sex. That was the Friday evening. We promised to meet the Saturday night.

He came back and he brought condoms this time and we used it. But the first time we had sex, we did not use anything. I know that the child I am carrying is his child.

My father is quarrelling with me every day because I had to tell him who got me pregnant. I am ashamed, especially over how I got pregnant.

Right now I am in college and I don't want to stop.

I do not plan to have an abortion, but my father always say that I should wait until I am married before I have a child. Now I have let him down and myself. I love my dad.

Pastor, what shall I do?

S.S.

Dear S.S.,

What I will encourage you to do is to have your baby. Do not consider terminating the pregnancy at all. You have made mistakes.

Perhaps you found having sex on your housetop exciting. It gave you a thrill, so you totally ignored the fact that 'wha sweet nanny goat a go run 'im belly'.

This young man who impregnated you has insulted you by telling you that you should look for the man who is responsible for getting you pregnant.

Whether he knows it or not, he is telling you that you are a loose, young woman and you were giving away your body to Tom, Dick and Harry.

He is rude and out of order. He should not insult you.

I repeat, have your baby. Your father may fuss and quarrel with you for a while, but he loves you, and what you have to do is to continue to tell him that you are sorry for what has happened.

You have embarrassed him, but you will make him proud eventually. Don't even consider giving up this child for adoption. Everything is going to be all right.

It will be a little setback for you, but you will finish your college work, get a good job and take care of your child.

And then, if the father of this child refuses to support the child, you will have to decide whether or not you will take him to court for maintenance.

I can tell you that if you are wise, you will bounce back. I wish you well.

Pastor

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