Disappointed my boyfriend doesn't like Christians

March 22, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I have found it to be very interesting. I am 30 and I have been in a relationship with a guy for the past two years. He met me as a Christian.

When I met him, I told him that I was a Christian. He told me that he was not, but he has nothing against Christians because he grew up in a Christian home.

His parents sent him to church, but now that he knows better, he doesn't want to be a Christian. I have been trying to get him to change his outlook.

Sometimes I think that I am getting through, and then he would hear something bad about Christians and he would tell me about it and say how Christians cannot be trusted.

I asked him if he trusts me, and he said yes. I told him that I am a Christian, so how could he hate Christians and I am one. He said I am excluded. He says I am different.

I love this man. He has a good job. He says he wants to start his own religion. I told him to go right ahead. He is an intelligent man, but sometimes he annoys me by what he says. We have had sex, but if I say no, he doesn't force me.

When we first became friends, he couldn't understand how I could be doing without sex for so many years. Before I met him, I hadn't had sex for five years. I told him and he believed me.

He said I was like a virgin. I don't know what I should do. My parents like him. I haven't told them what he says about the church, but they always ask me when he is going to start coming to church. I told them soon.

Recently, I got a proposal from a man who came to our church with a group of Christian workers from the United States. This man has fallen in love with me. He was married, but his wife died. He is 55 and he wants to get married again.

My boyfriend says he would like to get married and he would not stop me from going to church. But, Pastor, I would love for my husband and I to go to church together. This American has two children. I have talked to them on the phone and they seem nice.

I asked my parents for their advice and they say that at least this man is a practising Christian and my boyfriend is not.

I don't know what to do, Pastor, because this man is living in the US and my boyfriend lives in Jamaica. I can see him anytime.

I am only getting to know the American. I don't know if he is speaking the truth when he says that he doesn't have anyone in his life right now. Please tell me what to do.


Dear G.E.,

May I suggest that you seriously consider getting to know the American. He seems very serious about you. He may not cause such a challenge as the Jamaican.

You love the Jamaican man, but he mocks Christianity and he knows that Christianity is the religion in which you grew up. But he tells you that he knows better now.

So if he knows better, you will find it difficult to serve your God if both of you were to get married. I do not want to encourage you to continue this relationship.

I believe you love him and I believe he loves you, but Christ should be first in your life and in everything you do. Try to know the man abroad much better.

Don't rush him, but if you have a little love in your heart for him, pray that it will grow. Talk to your parents about him often and invite him back to Jamaica alone, so that you can sit with him and get to know him better.

He is already in church. He is doing gospel work. This one in Jamaica mocks your faith, so I cannot encourage you to go deeper with him.


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