A teenager wants my husband

April 05, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I hope you can give me words of comfort. I am 43 and I have two children for my husband.

My husband is a civil servant. I am a teacher. We have a beautiful family. My husband is very strict on the family. My children had to go to school even when they were not feeling well.

Pastor, there is this young girl who likes my husband. She pretends to be a friend of my daughter, but it is a way to get close to my husband. My husband is always buying gifts for her and saying he is sorry for her because she is from a poor family.

My daughter confided in me and begged me not to say anything to her father. The girl told her that she likes my husband and he is the greatest and if he asks her anytime for sex, she would give it to him. This girl is only 16.

I told my husband that someone told me that he and this girl are friends, and he said she is a friend of the family. I told him yes, but she wants more.

He told me that I am jealous and I don't need to be because he has never interfered with her. I told the girl not to come back to the house and she asked me why.

My husband is very upset and my daughter said I shouldn't tell her not to come back because she already warned her not to get close to her father.

My father cheated on my mother and got my mother's sister pregnant. That took my mother to her grave. I don't want a similar thing to happen; it will cause me to die before my time. I love the very ground my husband walks on.

Tell me if I went about this thing the right way.

M.R.

Dear M.R.,

I suppose you are trying to be cautious. Some

people would say that you are trying to nip it in the bud. But, let us reason a little.

This young girl who is a close friend of your

daughter told your daughter that she likes her dad and if he asks her for sex, she would give it to him.

You are upset with the young woman for saying that to your daughter. She expressed what is in her mind. You believe that such a thought should not cross her mind.

Where I think you went wrong was to attack your husband about it. What has he done? He has not been having an affair with the girl.

You have attacked him over a statement that the young woman made to your daughter and that is very unfair. Your daughter has not said that her father 'put question' to the girl.

If you had simply suggested to your husband to be careful because the young woman likes him, and she has expressed her sexual desire towards him, you would be standing on good ground.

But by the tone of your letter, it seems to me that you were accusing him of something he has not done. By what you have said, you might be putting some crazy thoughts in your husband's mind.

Your daughter and this girl were engaged in girl talk. Girls all the time say to each other how they like guys and that they will have sex with them and the guys are not even aware of it.

You were shocked to hear that and you were shocked to learn that this young girl expressed to your daughter that she would have sex with him if he ask her, hence your reaction.

I think you could have quietly spoken to this girl without banning her from your house and without causing your husband to feel that you don't trust him.

If your husband wanted to have sex with this girl, he would find her, but I don't expect him to do so. I am sure that you had wild thoughts when you were growing up. All young people do, so bear that in mind when you are dealing with young people.

Pastor

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