Cheaters will never change

May 16, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I enjoy reading some of the advice that you give, and I must commend you for that. You are doing a very good job. However, there are instances where married couples cheat on their partners and you encourage them to visit a counsellor and try to work things out.

My question is: Why do you suggest that they stay in a relationship with a cheater? Once you are a cheater, you will always be a cheater.

I am thinking that you are trying to help them to save their marriages but it doesn't make any sense to stay in a toxic relationship, especially if the cheater does not have any intention to stop what he or she is doing.

My pastor says that it is OK for couples to divorce if there is unfaithfulness in the marriage. I would like to know the real reason why you encourage married couples that cheat to try and work things out and stay together. I await your response.

Bible Student

Dear Bible Student

I believe that divorce should only be pursued as a last resort. I believe that every effort should be made to keep a marriage together even when a spouse is guilty of cheating.

I have seen couples who have cheated and have asked each other for forgiveness and have sought professional help and are living happily together now. People make mistakes.

It is never right to swear that one will never forgive a spouse. The Bible says "Love covers the multitude of sins."

The Bible tells of a man whose name was Hosea; he was a wonderful servant of God. His wife Gomer cheated on him many times.

And yet God told Hosea to take care of her, and Hosea did just that. He supported her and they had children together. So one should not swear that he/she would never forgive a cheater.

I think I have given you my reasons for encouraging couples to try their very best to protect their marriages and when things go wrong to seek professional help.

Today, there are many couples who have regretted that they did not forgive each other. They consider not doing so a big mistake.


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