Spouses should not demand sex from each other

May 16, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I was reading 1 Corinthians 7 verse 4 that states, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body".

What I understand from this Bible verse is that married couples should not withhold sex from their partner because once they are married they no longer have power over their bodies.

But say, for instance, the husband or the wife is sick or is just not in the mood to indulge in any sexual activities. Does that give the husband or the wife the right to cheat, and would the partner that withheld sex be the cause for the other partner to cheat?

I personally think that as human beings we can be tired or just not in the mood at times. Therefore, I do not think it is right for couples to demand sex from their partner. I think they should have a choice as to whether or not they are willing to do it.

Verse 39 states that, "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord".

From this verse I understand that once you have been married and decide to divorce, you cannot marry again until the person that you have been married to is dead.

Pastor, what if after they are separated one of the divorced partners falls in love with someone else and would like to get married again, but isn't sure whether the person he was married to is dead or not. What do you suggest that person do?


Dear J.B.,

Thank you for this letter. I hope that you would learn not to take verses out of context. What 1 Corinthians chapter 7:1-5 is addressing is the proper use of sex in marriage.

The apostle is not speculating. The passage does not mention anything about a spouse being tired.

Though it can be implied that if the spouse is very tired or not well, the couple can wait until they have rested and can enjoy sex.

But tiredness should never be used as an excuse not to have sex because all married couples are under divine obligation to satisfy the sexual appetite of their partner.

And I repeat, it is an obligation because the body craves for sex. That is why the Bible says to avoid fornication, a man should get married.

I must therefore quote the entire verses where this subject is addressed. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 King James Version (KJV)

1. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence (conjugal rights): and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4. The wife hath not power of her own body,(authority) but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

When it comes to the matter of sex, a woman does not have the right to reject her husband; nor does he have a right to reject her.

I am only trying to say that married couples must remember at all times that it is their duty to satisfy each other.

The Bible warns of the danger of a couple who does not have sexual intercourse regularly.

The Bible says "A couple should not deprive one another from sex" because by doing so, Satan may tempt the one who is deprived to find someone outside of the marriage to satisfy his or her sexual needs.

Studies have shown that married couples who engaged in sexual intercourse live healthier and longer than those who do not. Just as the body needs food to sustain it, so sex is essential for good health.

If a woman or man is not willing to engage in sexual intercourse, they should not get married.

You have also commented on the matter of divorce and remarriage. Some churches have rules.

They do not remarry divorced people, but divorce was granted to God's people in the Old Testament. And in the New Testament, it is not condemned if it is done in the proper way and for the right reasons.


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