I have terrible luck with men

September 06, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I'm 15 years old. I have nobody to talk to. I practically live by myself. I don't know my father. My mother doesn't care about me.

She's not in the country either. I live in a house with my stepdad and brother, and they behave like I don't exist.

At age 14, I got pregnant by my brother's best friend. The guy was upset about the pregnancy. He accused me of cheating and beat me up.

I had a miscarriage, and I can't get over it, especially when my mom keeps throwing it in my face.

I went to a wedding at a popular location in Kingston, and I saw the most handsome guy ever.

I kept admiring him until he approached me and we exchanged numbers.

He made me feel really special, and he made time for me. Even after work and in the wee hours of the morning, he would WhatsApp me.

Recently, he was involved in an accident. He told me he would call me back in a few minutes. He never did.

I got really worried and kept calling and texting, but there was no answer.

When the call eventually went through, a female answered. I told her that I needed to talk to the guy.

She said that he was outside and she asked whether she could take the message. I told her no and hung up.

Eventually, he sent me a message on his other phone. When I asked who the woman was, he said she was his girlfriend.

I pressed him until I found out they have been together for six years, owned two cars and recently bought a house together, just had a three-month-old daughter, and are engaged to be married.

Pastor, I was devastated. I started crying because he made me feel so special, like I was the only girl in his life.

I was so naÔve. I even planned to have unprotected sex with this man, even though he told me that when we decided to have sex, I better not think about getting pregnant. Now I know why.

Later on, I got a message from his wife saying that I'm a home wrecker and that I could have him because she's not going to compete with a child for her man. She said that I should be focusing on school, not wrecking people's relationships.

 

NOT WORTH IT

 

Then, he messaged me and told me that it's over between us because he can't lose her and I'm not worth it.

He hurt my feelings worse when he said that his wife and child meant the world to him and that he was not going to let some damaged kid come between them.

He said that he loved her too much to let her go and that she means the world to him. I felt really bad.

I texted and apologised to this lady, and I felt obliged to fix this mess. She told me that it's not my fault and that she had no idea what he had been telling me.

Pastor, she's a sweetheart and a genuine person. She has been encouraging me to think positively and not to let disappointments break my spirit.

Devastated T.J.

Dear Devastated T.J.,

I do not consider you to be a bad girl, and I hope that you will look at the troubles that you have got yourself into as learning experiences and try to change.

You trusted these men. Your brother's best friend got you pregnant and then beat you up as if to say you were the one who got yourself pregnant.

He was a stupid fellow. The other man lied to you. Yes, you were naÔve, and this man took advantage of your naÔvety. He is not a good man either.

I am glad that you have cleared up matter with his child's mother.

Don't condemn yourself. I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through.

Work on your future. Study hard and put your life in God's hand. Do your best in school. I will be praying for you. Keep in touch with me.

Pastor

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