Wife withheld sex, so I cheated

September 25, 2018

Dear Pastor,

Sometimes, men do things that they are not proud of. I am 30 years old, and I have been with a woman for 10 years. I have been faithful to her. The only time I went out of the way, it was she who caused it. For three months straight, she did not give me any sex. I begged her, and she was always making excuses. I asked her if she had a man, and she said "it could be".

Well, I told her that I was not into that. She asked what I would do if she had a man. She gave me a very out-of-order reply, and I slapped her. But then, I was sorry I did that. But, no woman should tell her man that she tried another man and that man was sweeter, and that was what my wife told me. She said that she was only joking, but I could not take that as a joke. It took me a long while to be convinced that she was only joking. I went outside the relationship and slept with another woman. That is what I mean when I say that she caused it.

This other woman is someone she knows very well, but I haven't told my wife that I have slept with her. But I have asked my wife to forgive me for slapping her. Here is what I want you to know, Pastor. From the time I slept with this other woman, she has not stopped harassing me. She wants more of me, and that is why I am saying that some women cause men to go astray. If my wife had not held out on me and then capped it off by giving me feisty talk, I would not have got myself mixed up with another woman. I would like to hear your comments.

A.T.

Dear A.T.,

You lost your cool. It is true that your wife might have said some unkind words to you. Some women say things that can really hurt men. The man has to learn to control himself at all times. Women always brag and say that they can tell their men some hot words, and they expect the men not to say anything or to retaliate. Men who can take 'hot words' are mature and need to be commended.

What I don't understand and what you didn't explain is why your wife withheld sex from you for three months. What was her reason? You didn't explain why. I know that there are times when women punish their men by withholding sex from them. They use sex as punishment. This woman with whom you had an extramarital affair sees you as a good catch, and that is why she is trying to get more of you. Keep away from her if you want to save your marriage.

Pastor

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